


My Return

by roosebolton



Category: Andrew Hozier-Byrne (Musician), Original Work
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Animal Transformation, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Come Swallowing, Consent, Cuddling & Snuggling, Deities, Dissociation, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Enthusiastic Consent, Forests, Foxes, Gods, Hunters & Hunting, Kemonomimi, Kissing, Knotting, Losing Time, M/M, Masturbation, Non-Human Genitalia, Oral Sex, Polyamory, References to Knotting, Threesome - M/M/M, Transformation, Work, Worship, forest god, heads up this starts out Spooky and eventually switches to Porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:08:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24887365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roosebolton/pseuds/roosebolton
Summary: It hasn't been long since I entered a forest I didn't know was there and had an encounter with the most handsome, ethereal Forest God I could have ever imagined. How do you return to a normal life after that?
Relationships: Forest God/Fox (OC), Forest God/Fox (OC)/Narrator, Forest God/Narrator, Fox (OC)/Narrator, Original Male Character/Original Male Character, Original Male Character/Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 39
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is a direct sequel to my poem [the forest and what I found there](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16804543). It is not necessary to read that poem to follow the events in this story, but it helps lay the groundwork, and I highly recommend you read that first. Full disclosure: the narrator of the poem is described in ambiguous terms, but by necessity, the narrator in this sequel is explicitly male. 
> 
> Long after I published that poem, I started thinking: if someone had an experience like that, with a romantic and spiritual encounter that changed their life, what happens afterward? Do you forget? Can you return to your normal life? I started this piece to explore those feelings, and it grew from there.
> 
> This is not a short story, and the words did not always flow as freely as I might have liked, but it was a labour of love. Enjoy.

I don’t remember how I got home.

I remember waking up on the edge of the forest. I remember the hoofprints and the river and the moss.

After that, the next thing I remember is staring at the shadow of the ceiling fan above my head, blades spinning like a rescue helicopter. I was wearing the same shirt, but my pants were in a crumpled heap on the floor. The window was open and I could hear the rain beating down outside.

I was alone.

The ghost of him was on me -  _ the tenderness of my neck, the ache in my body, the lingering feeling of his arms around me _ \- but still, I was alone.

Dazed, I looked at my phone for guidance, the weather offering little clue as to the time of day.

_ 4:36pm. Sunday. Rain. 65 degrees. _

When I’d left for my walk, it was Friday afternoon, almost into evening, my way of trying to relax after a long day at work. When I woke up, it must have been early Saturday, but… that’s a lot of missing time I couldn’t account for. I thought as carefully as I could.

I walked toward the sound of rushing water, to follow the river back the way I had come. I remember hearing that sound, the rush growing louder as I approached, and turned to walk along the bank, the opposite direction of the water’s flow, and…

And…

And then I was in bed, staring at the ceiling. Any number of fates could have befallen me between there and my apartment - it’s not a short distance. Yet, I suppose, there I was anyway, alive and unharmed. No sense in dwelling on it.

I squinted at the calendar on the wall. Tomorrow was Monday, which meant a 9am start at work. 

Work. The idea seemed so trivial.

It was what paid the bills, though, kept the lights and air conditioning on and made sure I had a way to contact the outside world, so work was where I’d go. Groaning, I got out of bed, shuffling to my closet, and haphazardly picked out something to wear the next day. 

Black pants, forest green buttondown, no tie. Same boring plain white socks I always wore, same boring black briefs I had a million pairs of.

I checked that the door was locked, did my nightly before-bed bathroom break, made sure my alarm was set correctly, and crashed back into bed.

_ The moon hung low overhead, visible through the tall, yearning, leafless branches, reaching into the sky like some ecstatic revelers. I could feel the cool dampness of the grassy earth beneath my body as I knelt. I could hear music, the melody unfamiliar to me, but the tone of the notes unmistakable. I knew without seeing him who the player was, the long, delicate fingers plucking every note with ease. Entranced, I rose to my feet and slowly, as if walking through a deep dark sea, made my way toward the source of the sound. Passing through the trees, I felt my body get warmer as the music filled my ears, becoming louder with every step. Cautiously, I stepped into the clearing where I knew he would be waiting. He kept playing his instrument - I had never asked him what it was called, but it didn’t look quite like anything I’d seen before - but nodded, smiling gently, and I knew I was allowed to proceed further toward him. I sank to the ground, rhythmically crawling in his direction, the movement instinctual, until I could see his shining hooves, and-- _

Groaning, I reached over in the dark to press the snooze button on my phone’s blaring alarm. I blinked a few times before squinting at the time. 

_ 8:42? Shit. How long has the alarm been going off? Did I hit the snooze in my sleep? _

In a rush, I jumped out of bed, tied my hair back without brushing it, and rinsed with mouthwash in lieu of taking the time to brush my teeth. Silently thankful that I’d already laid out my clothes, I pulled them on as quickly as I could and called for a rideshare, already knowing I’d be late. Guiltily, I got to my desk around quarter after nine, trying my best to ignore my coworkers glaring at me on the way in.

I stared at the blank computer monitor for several moments, trying and failing to even remember what it was that I did for a living, before pressing the button on the front of the tower that made my workstation noisily come to life. While I waited for it to boot, I walked to the break room and got a cheap cardboard-tasting coffee from the automated machine. I held the cup above eye level to see what playing card was printed on the bottom - the King of Hearts - before returning to my chair and trying to make sense of the icons on my desktop.  _ Ah. I remember now. _

I put on my headset and got to work.


	2. Chapter 2

After work I decided to walk part of the way home, to see if the fresh air would do me any good. There was a park between work and my apartment, the kind of city park that’s mostly cut grass with a path or two and a handful of trees, the kind where people walk their dogs and sit and eat lunch during work hours. Even stepping into that tiny patch of green from the concrete and steel of the city felt different to me, and I found myself leaning up against a tree to catch the breath suddenly hitching in my throat. The daytime sky shone blue through the leaves still left on the branches above me, the occasional cloud floating through my vision. I put my arm around the tree, holding it tight, feeling the rough bark press into my skin of my palm and wrist. It felt right, I thought to myself, being so close to the tree like that, skin to skin. Skin? What a strange thought to have. I leaned my face gently against the bark, then, the arm of my glasses pressing into my face. 

I felt all right, in that moment. Grounded. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see if there were other people in the park, watching me have this strange moment, one that suddenly felt necessary to my survival. 

_I rubbed my face gently against the fur of his leg, marvelling at its softness. Raising one hand to touch, I ran my fingers over the back of his other leg, running them through the longer fur at the back of his... rear knee? Elbow? I wasn't sure what to call it, but the fur there curled a little, similar to the hair on his head. Glancing down, I noticed that there was longer fur around his hooves, too, like the fetlocks on a draft horse. His body was so new and strange to me, yet oddly familiar, in some way. I wanted to keep touching him, exploring him, being allowed to worship him, see him shining in the daylight instead of under cover of darkness._ Does he glow under sunlight, _I wondered,_ the way he shines under moonlight? _Looking up at him, I--_

Shaking myself out of what must surely have been a daydream, the first thing I noticed was the faint noise of crickets. I opened my eyes, releasing my hold on the tree, and was surprised to see a sky full of stars, clear, without a cloud in sight. The moon hung overhead, a pale sliver in the sky. I rubbed the side of my face, the texture of the tree bark imprinted into it, and adjusted my glasses, which had been slightly askew. I took a deep breath, looking at my phone. _8:36pm_. I'd gotten off work at 5, which means I'd been in the park for around three and a half hours. Somehow, I'd fallen asleep standing up, which I'd never done before. I hadn't even been tired before curling my arm around the tree, but I could only guess I'd felt such comfort somehow that some part of me decided it was... safe, maybe. Safe and time for an afternoon nap. (Never mind that I was out in public.) 

I started walking, and I didn't stop again, aside from crosswalks, until I'd walked the rest of the way home.

Back at my apartment, I was too tired and disoriented to cook, and I hadn't gone grocery shopping, so I gave in and ordered from my favorite pizza place, though I only got through a couple of slices before putting the rest in the fridge. Something about it seemed... off. Unsatisfying. I didn't think it would make me sick, it just wasn't what my body was craving, though I couldn't tell what it _did_ crave, either. I made a note in my phone to get groceries the next day, but didn't bother making a grocery list. _Maybe if I go to the store, I'll see something that appeals to me. Assuming I feel like cooking, and don't have another one of these... episodes._

I went through my night time routine, brushing my teeth, going to the bathroom, combing the tangles out of my hair. It felt stuffy in my room, so I opened the window a crack, a cool breeze blowing in. I looked out the window for a while, but made myself stop, lest I stare too long, and closed the curtain.

I turned out the light, climbing into my bed, and somehow sleep didn't come for me as easily as it had before. I tried a breathing exercise that I remembered from somewhere, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth, but it didn't feel as relaxing as it should have. 

Something was nagging at me. Something was missing.

I got up from my bed, turning the light back on, and went to my closet, rummaging in moving boxes I'd never unpacked. In the second to last one, I found what I'd been looking for: a candle and its brass holder. 

I had no idea what I was doing, acting on pure instinct.

I cleared off the top of my dresser, putting the candle holder in the middle, pressing the long half-used white taper into it. I had to go all the way to my desk drawer to find matches, but when I came back in the room and lit the candle, I felt like a weight had been lifted.

I climbed back under my covers, staring at the candle flame, and drifted off to sleep, the flame flickering back and forth like a metronome keeping time.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke in the middle of the night, sometime around 2:30am. When I opened my eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them to check the time, I noticed the candle flame still flickering, barely, the candle at the end of its life, before it winked out, a thin stream of smoke barely visible. 

I felt the urge to check on the candle.

I flicked on the light switch and turned to where the candle had been burning, waving away the smoke with one hand. The white wax had melted unevenly, dripping down the brass holder in a strange pattern, heavy toward the front, reaching out around both sides.

I stared at it for a moment before I realised what it looked like.

Antlers. The shape of the melted wax looked like _antlers._

I pressed one hand to my chest, my heart beating faster, before turning the light back off and climbing into bed, trying to put it out of my mind.

I didn't miss my alarm the next morning, which surprised me. Even though I hadn't laid out my clothes the night before, it was easy to grab a new set out of the closet, since I wore more or less the same outfit in different colours every day at work.

Once I was dressed, coffee made and drunk, teeth brushed, shoes on, I felt a little shaky, so I decided to call a rideshare again, just to be safe. I told the app I was going to work, coming from my apartment, and accepted the price.

_Your ride is 4 minutes away. You should arrive at 8:47am._

I put on a light jacket and left my apartment, locking the door behind me. After a few minutes, a driver pulled up, and I glanced at my phone to make sure the licence plate numbers were the same. The car was black, and the interior was black leather, the inside warm and cosy enough for me to nearly nod off, resting against the back seat.

I wasn't paying attention to the driver's route. There were several ways to get to my workplace, none of which were very far, and I'd never had any issues before.

The estimated time of arrival came and went without me noticing. I kept scrolling through the endless parade of social media posts, streaming music through my headphones, and I didn't notice that anything was amiss until the driver suddenly stopped. He turned to check on me, tapping me lightly on the knee.

When I looked up, I had no idea where we were. 

There were no cars around save the one we were in.

The long stretch of road we'd been driving on was surrounded by trees in shades of red and gold and orange with patches of green, colours already littering the ground.

"Where are we?"

"Was going to ask you the same thing. I followed the GPS, and here we are."

I looked at the rideshare app on my phone. Sure enough, there was a shining dot marking the spot where my driver had taken me, proudly marked "Work".

It was 9:17 and we were in the middle of nowhere.

"There must have been some kind of weird glitch in my phone. I had a predefined location set up for my work - you know - but for some reason it decided work was _here_." I looked out at the trees and felt a chill.

Something in my heart whispered _maybe work_ is _here_.

"Can you take me to work, please? I'll input the exact address this time. I'll pay, of course."

Naturally, the rideshare app connected me with the same driver; there was no one around for seemingly miles.

By the time I got to work, I was even later than the previous day, it was nearly 10am and I had no concrete excuse this time. All I could do was sneak into my cubicle and pretend like nothing was wrong, that 10am was my usual start time and I was simply doing my job. 

I poured myself into my work as best I could and prayed, to someone, somewhere, that no one would notice.

That day, my bosses were out, and I was lucky.

That would not always be the case.


	4. Chapter 4

"Boss is looking for you," the coworker in the cubicle next to mine said to me, cheerfully, as I walked in late again. He was leaning back in his chair and I could only see his head and shoulders before he leaned forward again and resumed ignoring me like he usually did.

Boss was looking for me. Usually not a good sign. I wondered if I could just get through another day without incident, despite what my coworker said, if I just poured myself into my work and pretended I didn't hear him.

It had been a few weeks and I had been late more often than not, my inability to concentrate not only disruptive but a safety hazard on more than one occasion while travelling to and from work. Anyway, it seemed like no matter whether I tried to walk, take a rideshare, or use public transit, strange things happened to me. I stopped walking when I almost got hit by cars twice in the same day due to my... daydreaming, or whatever you want to call it. Rideshares would try to drop me off in strange locations with lots of trees, away from the city, and though I swore each time I got on the correct bus to take me right past my workplace, I somehow ended up riding to the end of the line, far on the edge of town, my mind remembering none of how I got there or why I'd missed my stop.

Even on that day, though I was trying my hardest to concentrate, I felt my mind slipping away into the woods again. Each time it happened I felt more and more powerless to stop it, to shake myself out of these daydreams or visions or memories or whatever they were. I tried desperately to keep talking on my headset, keep typing, keep reading, but

_ the calmness and tenderness in his eyes as he curled the long fingers of one pale, cold hand around my throat, his thumb pressed firmly into the hollow between my collarbones. The brief moment of fear, washed away by the knowledge that if I were to die, I would want to die by his hand, a clever hand that had been plucking the strings of an unknown instrument before I'd arrived. I was ready to collapse in his arms, to be his, to be buried there where we stood, to become part of the forest, to belong to the dirt. And yet, instead of him taking my life, it would seem he had given me a gift. My tongue felt strange in my mouth, my throat sore from his touch, my heart full of grateful understanding, and... _

I heard someone cough behind me. Not a real cough, mind you, but that particular kind of throat-clearing someone does to get your attention. I looked at my screen. According to the clock, it had been about 45 minutes since I'd sat down, though of course, it seemed almost like seconds. I could see the reflection of my boss over my shoulder.

My time was up, I guessed.

"Can I help you?" I said, quietly taking off my headset and perching on the hook attached to my monitor.

"My office, please," he said quietly, and immediately walked in that direction. I took a deep breath and followed, a few steps behind, my metaphorical tail between my legs.

"Close the door," he said once we both entered, sitting in his expensive leather chair behind his desk. I did so, and sat down in the shabbier tan upholstered chair in front of the desk. His chair made him seem even taller than he was, since it was higher off the ground than mine, and he was already nearly a head taller than me.

"I think you know why you're here," he said, leaning back, his eyes locked on me as if he thought I'd try to run away now that he'd cornered me.

For a moment, I debated whether to agree with him, since I assumed I was being fired for my constant lateness the past few weeks, or to act like I had no idea what he was talking about. In the end, I didn't have to think about it too much longer.

"You haven't been on time  _ once _ in the past week and a half. We've been keeping track." Ah, the nebulous  _ we. _ I wondered who else was part of that  _ we _ besides my boss, if he was speaking for the entire company, or just using the royal  _ we. _

"That's not true," I protested. "I was definitely here early on Monday, I just--"

He cut me off with one hand. "You were  _ in the building _ early, but you stood inside the front door across from the receptionist's desk for almost half an hour, staring off into space. She timed it."

"Staring off into space? Is that what it looks like when... when I'm..." I'd wondered how I appeared to outsiders when I stepped into that other world in my mind.

My boss sighed a sigh of annoyance. "If you're not going to be on time, and you're not going to work while you're here, we're going to have to let you go." There's that  _ we _ again. "I'm sorry," he added, though he didn't sound like it.

"I try my best to be productive while I'm here," I offered, half-heartedly.

"I stood behind you for five whole minutes today before you even noticed I was there, and then only because I cleared my throat. The recording shows you'd barely been on the call for two minutes before you stopped responding. The customer had hung up long before I walked out there."

I paused, taking a deep breath. "I think I need to... see a doctor. Or something. I... I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You'll have plenty of time to do that after today. You're fired."

"Do you... want me to finish my shift first, or..." I said, swallowing hard.

"Gather up your belongings and be out by the end of the day. Other than that, I don't care what you do. Talk to the secretary on your way out, she'll confirm your address for your final paycheck."

I nodded, walking slowly back to my cubicle as though in a thick fog. There was a bankers' box under my desk with old files in it, files I wouldn't need anymore. I dumped them out beneath my desk and put the box on my chair, gathering up the few things with which I had decorated my cubicle. Most of it didn't have much meaning beyond decoration, anyway, but it was mine, I guessed, and they'd just throw it out anyway if I left it behind. When I'd pulled down everything from my cubicle walls, I stared at the screen I'd spent far too long staring at in days, months, years past.

I had seen this coming, and I had expected to feel worse about it. Instead I felt numb, and deep down, there was a part of me that felt a sense of relief, not only relief from the tedium of the job, but relief that I could now do... what, I wasn't sure. 

At the very least, I wouldn't have to get lost on my way to work again. Maybe my dreams would work themselves out. Maybe I should seek a therapist. Then again, my insurance would probably disappear along with my job.

I'd think about trying to find another job later.

First, it was time to rest without worry I'd be late. I no longer needed to worry, because the worst had already happened.

Hadn't it?


	5. Chapter 5

Without the concrete structure of work days, every day more or less seemed the same to me, and my mind was free to wander as it would, sometimes for hours at a time. 

I tried to, in my moments of clarity, search for a new job, but most places I applied never responded, and most of the ones that did either didn't seem suitable, turned out to be some marketing scheme, or were located in some distant state, despite the job listing being posted where I lived. 

I did get a few interviews set up. 

One of them I even managed to make it to before my thoughts started wandering again. When the secretary kindly asked me to leave, I'd been sitting in the same spot for nearly five hours without moving. She said it was a relief that I finally answered her: if I hadn't, she would have called the police or an ambulance, she wasn't sure which.

It seemed like a new job wasn't in the cards for me, so I stopped trying.

I had a bit of money that I'd saved from my paychecks, what hadn't gone to rent and bills, and I made one large online grocery order, since I didn't trust myself to travel to and from the grocery store without incident. I mostly bought things I could either eat as they were or things I could microwave, since they were fast and would feed me, and I figured the quicker I could eat a meal, the better, as I didn't know how long my mind would let me focus before it wandered off again.

It came to a point where I no longer could tell what day it was, and much of the time, I could not even tell day from night, no matter what time I fell asleep.

The times when my mind remained clear became fewer and fewer, and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to see a doctor, but I didn't even know if a doctor could help. A therapist, maybe, but there was no way I'd be able to make an appointment as quickly and desperately as I needed one, and that was only if I was able to find one taking new patients at all, never mind that I had no insurance.

I felt sure I was crazy, that maybe the incident in the forest that had kicked off this whole mess had just been the start of me slowly losing my mind, that it had really been all my imagination after all. The strangest thing about it, though, is that when my mind was off in that place, in that world, in the forest, it seemed so much more _real_ to me than anything that existed in the so-called 'real world' of job and apartment and money and city life. 

I think that's why I had a hard time tearing myself away, back to what was supposedly reality - I didn't want to leave. Maybe it was some strange form of escapism, but what was I escaping? I hadn't had a hard life, just a normal one. Sure, I hadn't dated in a while, but I had had a decent job with decent wages that I didn't totally hate, an apartment that was comfortable enough, plenty of food to eat. For most people, that would be enough. Right?

I didn't even realise how long it had been since I lost my job, how many days I'd lain in bed, until it occurred to me to check the mail one day and I found my box absolutely stuffed with mail - mostly junk mail and coupons, to be sure, but a couple of bills, too.

First notice. Second notice. Final notice.

And then, when I moved to open my door, I saw the paper taped to it.

Eviction notice.

I had not paid rent in three months, it said. I had thirty days to either pay or I would be removed, it said. I squinted at the date it was posted, though it was more or less meaningless to me since I had no idea what the current date was, either. I took down the paper and carried it inside with me, and after glancing at the date in the corner of my computer screen, it seemed that I now had less than a week, since the notice had been posted around three weeks prior.

There was no way I could come up with three months' rent in less than a week, especially not in my fragile mental state. I had no idea what to do, so I climbed back into bed and stared at the ceiling. Before I knew it, I was asleep.

I dreamed this time. Not a daydream, not a memory, but a true dream. I dreamed of rust-red foxes and bright-eyed deer, of moonlight filtering through the trees so pure and bright I could see the individual blades of grass beneath my feet. I felt a longing in my heart that I could not explain, a feeling of _home_ and _belonging_ that I had never felt in my waking life.

When I woke up, something felt different. Maybe it was the fact that something had finally clicked in my mind, something that told me what I should perhaps have been doing sooner. Perhaps it was just the fact that I no longer had anything left to lose. With no job, and soon, nowhere to live, there was nothing holding me back anymore, either. Instead of what I would have expected to feel, the weight of worry holding me down, I felt free, like I was finally on the right path, one that my blackout daydreams had been leading me toward, though maybe I was too stubborn to figure that out, or else too invested in trying to do what adults are _supposed_ to do.

I moved through my apartment like a ghost, picking out just the right things to wear, even though I somehow knew it wouldn't matter in the end. I took a shower, combed my hair out before it dried, brushed my teeth and ate what would be my last meal at my apartment, some microwave dinner that was just enough to make me feel less hungry for the journey. 

I put on my walking shoes. I walked there the first time, and I didn't even know if there _was_ another way in. I didn't know for sure that I would be able to find it, but everything in me was telling me that I would, that it was time, and that it was time to _go. Now._

I closed the front door without locking it, taking nothing with me. The things inside my apartment were just things, and they would not matter to me where I was going. Some dark part of me felt as though I were heading out to die, and I shook my head at how untrue that feeling was.

No, where I was going, I was going to _live._

I was going home.

I barely remembered the direction I'd taken on that fateful day, so I just let my feet go where they would. I felt like I was walking on air, like I was floating, like once I'd let go of the burden of my former life, nothing hurt. 

A time or two, I stopped in my tracks, but I took a deep breath, listened to my inmost heart, and I knew which way to go. 

It felt like I was walking all night, though I had no idea how long I'd walked that first time, either. All I knew was that I had to keep walking until I got there. I didn't have a choice. There was never a time, either, that I felt like I wouldn't find it. 

My heart was fixed on it, on _him_ , and it was a feeling that was stronger than anything I could imagine. Any love I had ever felt paled in comparison to this longing, this yearning, this sense that I had to be there, had to go to him or else... or else there would be no point to anything anymore. I guess you could say he had ruined me, in a sense; no human regardless of gender could ever compare to what he had made me feel, and that feeling had only grown stronger, from an ember to a flame, in the time since I left the forest that morning, a morning that seemed so long ago.

After what seemed like hours, but might have been minutes, since I had no watch nor phone to tell me the time -- I had left all of that back at the apartment -- I found myself walking along a river that seemed familiar.

There was a voice at the back of my head saying _this is the way_ with a stronger sense of urgency than I'd felt up until then. I remembered the river and how I'd followed it that day, how I walked along it until eventually it ended, flowing underground. I walked in that direction, watching the ground beneath my feet, and then, the river became more of a creek, which slowed to a trickle the farther I walked, ending just past the edge of the woods, the ground littered with leaves.

This was where I had entered that day. I knew it by heart.

I had made it.

I wasn't sure which way to go, though, now that I was there in the forest. I didn't see any animals rushing out to greet me, no birds in the trees watching me. The only sounds I heard were the crunch of leaves beneath my feet as I walked and the faint water sounds behind me, fading fast as I walked away from the end of the creek.

I kept walking, slowly, methodically, though I didn't know exactly where I was headed. All I could picture was the Lord of the Forest, how I'd seen him for the first time, seated on a log, plucking his instrument with long, spindly fingers, keeping time with his hooves, his dark curls cascading past his shoulders, his antlers shining in the moonlight.

My feet took me deeper into the wood as I was thinking, remembering that moment, and before I knew it, I was there. I had found the clearing. 

Unlike that day, though, I heard no singing, no music being played. The forest, and the clearing, were quiet. Had I made a mistake? Had this all been for naught?

Maybe if I walked in a little farther?


	6. Chapter 6

Quietly stepping forward into the small clearing, I noticed someone on the other side of it, leaned up against a tree. The person was taller than me, slim, but I couldn't see their face, their head down, obscured by a black hood. Their hands were in their pockets, and they were dressed all in black. Bare feet, too, I noticed, the only bit of their pale flesh I could see.

Cautiously, I walked toward the figure. I had never seen another person in the forest who wasn't the God, and I couldn't even be sure it wasn't some kind of magic, some illusion, placed there to trick me. When I was halfway to the hooded figure, I stepped on something brittle that made a sound, causing them to start and look upward at me.

Before me now I saw what looked like a man, with a neat, close-cropped beard, a strand of loose, long, dark blond hair falling out from his hood. He tilted his head to one side, sizing me up, and smiled without opening his mouth.

"I was wondering when you would come back," he said to me in the melodic language the God had taught me, his voice deeper and richer than I expected, with a slightly different accent than the God. I think my eyes went wide to hear the tongue again, my ability to understand returned to me. (After I'd left the first time, I tried in vain to figure out what language it was, but hours of online searches turned up nothing. With no one to speak it to, I feared I'd lost the ability entirely.)

"You speak this language, too," I said, too obvious, but unsure what else to say.

He chuckled. "I live here." He threw his hood back onto his shoulders, shaking out his long hair, almost gold in the sunlight. "I think I had another language, before, but... maybe I've forgotten it."

"So, then, you didn't always live here? How did you come to live here?" I said, idly wondering if it were an option for me. After all, I hadn't much else left.

"I don't remember," he said quietly, "but I have a feeling I was like you, once. I've lived here a long time now."

"Are you trapped here? Do you need my help?"

He laughed at that. "I could leave if I wanted to, but why? I have everything I need here. Food, water, shelter… friendship..." He huffed air out of his nose, an animal sound. "Love."

"Love?" I asked, but he just smiled.

"What made you come back?" he asked me, taking his hands out of his pockets to gesture with them. His fingernails were long, almost feminine. "I was sure you would, but I didn't think it would take you this long." He shifted his position to stand with feet farther apart, crossing his arms, his head tilted again, cocky.

It dawned on me that there was something familiar about him, though I was sure that we'd never met. (I would have remembered a lad that handsome.)

"I tried to go back to my old life, but it was increasingly tedious. I dreamed of him so often that I couldn't always tell when I was asleep or awake. I lost my job, and then I lost my apartment since I couldn't pay my rent. I didn't even have a car I could live in. If I'm totally honest, I don't know how I got here again, either, but my feet led me back." I took a deep breath, releasing tension in my shoulders I hadn't known was there. "I couldn't think of anything but him, and this place."

"Does it feel like home to you?" he asked, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.

Without thinking, I responded, " _He_ feels like home," and I blushed, looking down at my feet, smiling.

The strange man took one of my hands in his, gently squeezing. "In some ways, he is the forest. And yes, he is my home, too."

It dawned on me, then. "Love?" I furrowed my brow, unsure what to think. "You love him too."

"Of course. It would be more difficult not to."

"But have you..." I paused, embarrassed.

"Made love, like you and he?" He ducked down, smiling, making eye contact with me, his eyes sparkling.

My jaw dropped. "How do you know about that?" I made a sound, alarmed, then paused for a moment. "...You know, the more you talk, the more I keep getting this feeling that we've met before, but you don't look familiar at all."

"We have met. You don't remember because I didn't look the way I do right now. I was there that evening, too." He grinned.

"I... but how..." I rubbed my face, more confused than ever.

"You were lost. I showed you where to find him that night."

Leaning back, taking in all his features, despite his human form, I finally realised why he seemed familiar. "You're the fox."

He made an exaggerated bow. "Now you've got it."

"But you were originally... like this? A person?"

He nodded. "He taught me how to look different. To change form. For my safety, and the safety of our home."

"Can you... can you show me?"

"I can't teach you how to change form, if that's what you mean. I'm not sure, but I think it's like... a gift that he gives. He would have to teach it to you."

"Like the gift of this tongue we're speaking?" I asked, remembering his long fingers around my throat and placing my hand there without realising. 

"Exactly like that, yes. You'll have to ask him about it sometime."

I swallowed hard at the thought of seeing him again. "Where... is he?"

"Somewhere." He shrugged. "If you stay, you'll have to accept that sometimes he just... leaves. I don't know where he goes. But he always comes back, and if you really had need of him, well... he'd come if you called. He always has for me."

I bit my lip and nodded. "The way you said that makes me think that... well, I guess that he feels the same way about me that he does about you. Whatever that is."

He smiled an odd smile, not quite sad, but not a grin. "I don't presume to know his heart, but that's the feeling I get. I could tell when..." He glanced away, running his tongue over his teeth. "When I watched you and him together. It's not the first time I've seen him make love to someone. It's not always like that. I saw... a spark, I guess. A connection. That's how I knew you'd come back."

I had to cover my face in my hands, I was so embarrassed, but at the same time, I was touched that he saw a connection there, one I had deeply felt.

I had to change the subject. "I... uh, what I meant before is that I wanted you to show me, you know, how you change." I gestured at his clothes. "Do you have to take those off first, or do they change with you? Do you have some kind of a home somewhere here to keep things like that in?"

He grinned wide. "Is this your way of saying you'd like to see me naked?"

"I, uh... well..." I stammered. "That's... that's not what I meant, but..."

He tilted his head, still grinning. "But you wouldn't mind?"

I took a deep breath. "Okay, yes, you're... very handsome. No, I wouldn't mind. But that's not why I asked. I've never known anyone who could, you know, change their form before. Out there..." I gestured broadly to the world outside the forest, "...that's kind of considered to be a fantasy, not something that really happens."

"That I do know. I'm not as... ignorant of the outside world as _he_ can be, you know. To answer your questions: I don't have to take my clothes off first, but it can be easier, if I have time. They don't change with me, but I'm a lot smaller in my other form, so I can just wiggle out of them. I do have a home, but you wouldn't be able to find it if you didn't know it was there. Most of us live inside trees. Roomier than you'd think." He unzipped his hooded sweatshirt, shrugging his shoulders and tugging on his sleeves to remove it. He was wearing a tight black short sleeved shirt underneath. "Should I take them all off, or leave something to the imagination until after?"

"Uh, maybe you should just keep them on for now."

"Suit yourself, then." He winked. 

I swear I only glanced away for a second, but when I looked back the man was gone, his shirt and pants a pile on the ground, with a suspicious lump moving around amidst them. I watched the lump wiggle until his furry orange fox head popped out of the shirt collar, followed by claws and body and long bottlebrush tail. He ran up to me, standing on two legs like a man, and gestured with his paws, as I had seen him do with the God that night. Oddly, I understood what he was trying to say, and I idly wondered if it was because of the God's gift of language or because he was facing me directly. 

_You see? It's as easy as that._

I looked down, bending my knees to reach a hand out. "Is it all right if I touch your fur?"

He gestured again, nodding. _Yes, you can pet me. I know, I'm told I'm very cute._

I ran my hand over the top of his head, and he closed his eyes, seemingly enjoying it. He nuzzled my hand with his head, putting one paw on my hand to keep it there briefly before letting go, looking up at me, making sure I saw his paw language.

_When I change back I'll be naked. Are you ready for that?_

I hesitated, unsure of how to respond, though I could feel my cheeks get warm thinking about it, as well as other parts of me jumping at the idea. “I’m, ah... I can’t say I’m ready, but I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, I think.”

The fox scampered away from me, just a few feet, before turning to face me again. It happened so fast, I could swear this time I never took my eyes off him, but one moment he was a fox, and the next moment he was again shaped like a man.

Well, mostly like a man. From the neck up, he looked the same as he had when clothed. His torso was lean, pale, covered in a smattering of dark blond hair, trailing all the way down until... at his waist the blond hair faded into reddish fur, the same colour he had been in his other form. The fur continued down his legs and tapered off again at his ankles, his feet just as human as I’d originally noticed, his toes bent a little to grip the forest floor. I glanced back up again at the middle of his body, in that furry patch, where a certain part of his anatomy would ordinarily be. He didn’t appear to have the _other_ sort of anatomy there either, so...

I cleared my throat. “I don’t mean to be rude, but... do you... not have...” I indicated the area.

He snickered, grinning. “My fur’s a bit long and it might be hard to see right now, since I’m not using it. Vulpine anatomy, see. It’s in its sheath. Not all of me changes back to human, as you noticed. If I tried hard enough, I could probably appear fully as a human man, but no one sees this part of me unless we’re fucking. Generally speaking, I mean. So I don’t bother with all that. I’m comfortable this way.” He shrugged. “Sometimes my feet are paws, too, like how he appears as a deer on the bottom half. I run faster like that.”

I stood for a second, silently, registering everything he’d said. “So... you usually only show yourself like this if you’re about to... ah, make love,” I said, delicately, despite him using a harsher word. He nodded. I glanced at his furry midsection again, perhaps a bit too long, as he shifted his weight from foot to foot, restless. “Does that mean...” I trailed off, not sure myself quite how to finish the sentence.

“Only if you want to, of course.”

“I, uh... I mean, what do I do?” I felt like I knew nothing.

“That depends. I know you understand how sexual congress works in general, considering what I’ve seen, but I assume you mean how it works with me.”

“...do you have to keep bringing that up?” I said quietly.

He stuck out his tongue at me, smiling. “Well, does it bother you, or turn you on?” 

I blushed. “Maybe a little of both.”

“Not necessarily a bad thing, then. Anyway...” he took one of my hands in his, “we won’t do anything you don’t want, I promise. If you don’t like something I’m doing, just tell me. I won’t be able to enjoy myself if you’re not enjoying _your_ self, anyway.”

“What if I don’t want to at all?”

“Then I’ll put my clothes back on, and we’ll go somewhere else.” He grinned with teeth, and I could see he had a dimple on one side. It was charmingly cute, and he was so sweet, and kind, and... and despite myself, I was impossibly intrigued and aroused. 

“But... I think I do want to,” I said, smiling down at my hand in his. “It’s just, I’ve never met someone like you, besides... you know. Him.”

“We have our similarities.” He tugged at my shirt. “I admit curiosity myself as to what you look like under here. Last time you kept your shirt on. Not to bring it up again, but...”

Shyly, I tugged my shirt up over my head. We didn’t look too dissimilar, there, except my hair is a lot darker and I have more of it on my abdomen than my upper chest. My skin is also a few shades darker than his, though I supposed he didn’t get a lot of sun, either, especially if he spent most of his time as a fox.

He spread one of his hands out in front of me. “May I touch?” I nodded. (He’d let me pet him, after all, it seemed fair.) With seeming reverence, he lightly pressed his hand to my skin, stroking gently. “You’re soft, too.” He stopped at my waistband. “Are you soft other places?”

I made a noise, looking away from him, though I knew he was grinning. "I'm not furry down there like you are."

He ran his fingers lightly across the top of my waistband, brushing along my skin. "May I?" 

I nodded. He unbuckled my belt, struggling with the button a moment before unbuttoning my pants, firmly unzipping my fly. 

"Wait a sec. I should, uh... shoes." He nodded in approval. Glancing down, I pushed my shoes off with my toes, awkwardly, so my pants didn't get caught around my ankles and trip me up. One of my socks came off with the shoe, and I pulled the other one off to match it. My bare feet touched the ground, and it was warmer than I expected. I wiggled my toes.

"I can just," I took a big breath, "take them off the rest of the way, if you want. The ah... anticipation is making me anxious. If that's okay."

He smiled, kneeling, sitting back on his heels. "As you like."

I wiggled out of my pants, tossing them onto the grass, standing only in my black briefs, my head feeling a little dizzy. I'd never undressed like this in front of someone before, let alone someone who was basically a stranger.

Nothing left but just to do it. 

I stared at the trees across the clearing while I took off my one remaining article of clothing, throwing it to the side, unable to look at him yet.

"Well. Aren't you a sight," he said, whistling appreciatively. "And I see that you're, ah..."

I blushed from head to toe. "Mine doesn't hide like yours does."

"Not a bad thing. I wasn't sure how interested you were, but I think I have an answer now." He crawled a little closer to me. "I asked if you were soft other places. Maybe I should have asked if you were _hard._ " He grinned wide, his dimple showing.

I reached out to steady myself on his shoulder, still blushing. (Would it ever stop?) "Can I... come down there? Feeling dizzy."

"Ah, all your blood rushing away from the brain, yes."

I shoved him lightly and he laughed, pulling me down into his arms. "Just lie here in the grass with me for a little while. You'll be fine." He tilted to one side, rolling us both into the grass, pulling me closer and lightly rubbing my back. He kissed my forehead.

"This is... nice," I admitted, curling one arm around him and and stroking the soft fur on his backside. "I could probably fall asleep like this, if I wasn't so... so..."

"Aroused?"

I nodded into his shoulder. He lowered his hand to my waist, firmly, and pressed his hips against mine. "Can you feel me there yet?" I wiggled my hips a little and realised I could feel something there that I couldn't before, amidst his fur, hot against me. I gasped.

"I can feel you, I... uh..." I licked my lips without realising, "Can I... touch it?"

He nodded, taking my hand and gently placing it over his furry sheath, stroking it upward to where his cock was peeking out, a very different shape from mine, but definitely not unpleasant to touch. I bit my lip, imagining it in my mouth. I kept stroking down the sheath and back up, his cock growing a bit longer as I brought my hand up to grip it gently, causing him to sigh, a happy, soft sound. "Should I keep doing this?"

He nodded, making an affirmative noise. I stroked faster, growing a little more sure of myself, until he was squirming against my hand, his hips rocking.

"Is it all right if I look? I've never... you know, seen someone built like you." 

"You may look all you like, though I definitely enjoy touching better than looking." He leaned back enough for me to see, his cock a darker pink than mine, the base of it slightly thicker than the rest, with no proper head to speak of. I put my hand on it, gripping it at the base where it met the furry sheath.

"Before we, ah, go on... how much do you know about vulpine anatomy? Or canine? Similar, that."

"I've never had a pet dog or anything. Why?"

"You'll need to be careful, then, if you... hm," he put his hand around mine, there, "if you put this in your mouth, or anywhere else. That's, well... it's called a knot." He squeezed. "It's meant so that in theory if I were to be fucking, well, a vixen - you know, a female fox - I'd get stuck in her and have to stay that way for a while. Better chance of getting her pregnant, I think, is the reason, but the fact remains. If you, uh, well... I'm just saying, you don't want it to swell there when it's in your mouth."

I leaned back, staring at his cock, processing this. I could feel my own cock growing harder in response, for some reason, pressed tight against my belly. 

He twined his fingers - longer than mine, agile, but not as long as the God's - with mine, hooking our thumbs around both our cocks, stroking them together. Distracted, I somehow managed to make eye contact with him for the first time, his light eyes bright with mirth and pleasure, small, but expressive. His cheeks were almost as pink as mine from exertion already, and I wasn't quite surprised when he leaned in to kiss me, his mouth soft and hot on mine, his beard tickling my chin a little. He tasted familiar, like some sort of sweet fruit, when I shyly allowed his tongue in my mouth. I wondered idly what I tasted like to him. I pulled away for a second, curious.

"What do foxes eat, anyway?"

"You, if you'll let me." He grinned widely. 

"I... I mean, uh..."

"Is that a yes?" He moved our hands together, still intertwined around our cocks. "I dined on local berries and grains, today, if that's what you're asking, though I'm far from vegetarian. More... opportunistic, you know."

"...Opportunistic like this?"

"Mmhmm, you've got it."

"Yes," I said quietly.

"Yes, you've got it, or yes to the other thing?"

"The other thing. But... I'd like to, ah..." I licked my lips. "I keep thinking about what you'd feel like in my mouth."

"I certainly shan't complain if you want to find out." He gently pulled his hand apart from mine. "Do you want to do it with one of us atop the other, or side by side as we are now?"

"I don't know. Like this, I think. It seems... I don't know, equal."

He rolled over, rising to his knees, and turned so he was lying in the opposite direction.

"Have you done this before?" he asked, already running his thumb over the head of my cock, making me squirm. "Besides that night with him, I mean. Just curious."

I cleared my throat, staring at his cock, so near my mouth, so far from human-shaped. "It had... been a while before that night, but yes."

He made a noise of approval, sticking his tongue out to briefly lick me. 

"Why do you ask?" I put one hand gently on his cock. "Does it make a difference?"

"Mm, no, not really," he said, planting a sloppy, wet kiss on the tip of mine, "mostly I was just wondering how much I'd have to teach you."

_Teach me._ Not for the first time, I wasn't sure if I should be insulted, embarrassed, or aroused. Okay, I was definitely aroused at the idea of him teaching me, never mind the other two.

"Then teach me," I said, determined, leaning in to swirl my tongue around his tip.

I felt him laugh. "I am at your service. Just mind the knot."

I took a deep breath and plunged in, taking him as far into my mouth as I dared, making sure my hand was tight around the base of his cock, right around the knot, the edge of his sheath light with fur against my little finger. He didn't feel like any other man I'd ever had in my mouth, but the heat of him was familiar, the hot pulse of blood in his veins there, thin seed already leaking from the tip. As I pulled him into my mouth, I felt the warmth of _his_ mouth on _me_ , his tongue working along the bottom of my shaft, his lips tight around me, his head bobbing, stroking me as firmly as a hand. I couldn't help but move my hips, and he took it in stride, staying still as I thrust into his mouth, using the hand that wasn't pinned beneath him to grip the base of my cock, resting lightly against my balls. I moved my head up and down, getting a feel for him, gathering courage to finally take as much of him as possible without pulling the knot into my mouth. I held him there for a moment, and I noticed something else - he had a sort of musky animal scent there where he was furry. He didn't _smell_ human, and it heightened the experience somehow. He followed my lead, though he didn't have the impediments I had to be wary of, and when I felt his nose against my belly, I closed my eyes, moaning around his cock. He didn't even seem winded when he pulled his mouth off me, noisily licking his lips and plunging onto me again. The longer he went, the louder his noises, and the combination of his sloppy wet sounds, the hot sensation of him on me, and his cock in my mouth finally, suddenly pushed me over the edge, and I spilled into his mouth, moaning on his cock in surprised excitement. When he noticed I was coming, he pulled me fully into his mouth again, swallowing audibly. He pulled off me slowly, not spilling a drop, and kissed the tip of my cock. I started moving my mouth, dizzy, but desperate to feel him spill into me the same as I had into him.

He cleared his throat. "Careful," he said, "it won't be long for me, either. You'll know when."

When he said that, I realised that I could feel his knot swelling beneath my hand, and soon, it was almost twice the width of the rest of his cock. _No wonder he warned me not to put it in my mouth. That would have been... embarrassing._ Feverish, frantic, I worked him with my lips and tongue, stroking his knot with my free hand, since I couldn't fully grip him there anymore, and in moments, my mouth was flooded with him, the cry from his lips deep and loud. He came so long, so much, that I had to swallow twice to avoid it dripping out of my mouth, and the texture wasn't as thick as I had experienced with other men. Even still, when I pulled off of him, I could see more dribbling out onto the ground in faint spurts.

I took a deep breath, struggling to sit up.

He propped himself up on his elbow, facing me, raising the knee farthest from me. He looked every inch the charming rogue, a trickster, a languid smile on his face, his body relaxed. We rested there together for a while before I looked down to see his cock had begun to retract into its sheath, the knot shrunk to its usual size.

I coughed, clearing my throat. "So... what do we do now?"

He rolled onto his back, stretching his arms and legs, arching his back in a way that didn't look quite human. "Whatever you like, I suppose, though it will take awhile for me to get ready if you're looking to have another go."

"No, I... I mean, I, uh, not... not just now." I pulled my knees up to my chest. "Maybe... you could show me where you live?"

He rolled back, throwing his legs into the air and jumping to his feet, extending a hand to me, helping me to stand. "Sure thing. You may want a rest after all that... exertion, anyway."

I nodded, a little wobbly on my feet, and moved to collect my clothes. I got dressed, though I carried my socks and shoes in my hands. Walking barefoot in the forest, just as he did, felt right. Once I was dressed, I watched him, strangely invested in the way he tugged on his pants just so, the way he shimmied into his black hooded sweatshirt. There were things about him I didn't pick up on before I'd seen him completely naked, before he'd showed me his other form. The way he walked, the sounds he made, even the way he looked at me - something about them was just different, foxlike, in ways I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't _known._

I wondered, then, if the God would really teach me to change my form, and what form that might be. _How does one choose an animal to become? Or... does the God choose for you?_

I followed the fox through the woods just as I had that fateful night, eventually stopping at a very large tree, its trunk as wide as the both of us put together, its bark rough and brittle looking, though it was clearly thriving, judging by the bright leaves still on its branches above us. The fox knelt down, placing both hands on the tree, low on the trunk, and whispered something too quietly for me to hear. Before my eyes, a door opened in the tree trunk, the top of it too low for either of us to clear without ducking. He entered on hands and knees, quicker than I would have been, and turned around, smiling up at me.

"Welcome," he said grandly, "to my humble abode."

I ducked down - I’m a bit shorter than his human form, I didn't find it necessary to kneel - and followed him in. I was surprised to see how large it was inside, and how very little like I'd have imagined the inside of a tree to look, aside from the fact that the room was somewhat round in shape. His home lacked many of the comforts I'd been used to as a human - no water or restroom and definitely no heating or air conditioning; there was no electricity, so no appliances or anything else electrical, either. And yet, it seemed so cosy and more homelike than my apartment had ever been. There was a mound of pillows on one side of the room, a pile of soft fur pelts lying underneath and next to them. A round rug, woven from some type of soft grasses, was covering most of the ground, though I could see and feel cool, damp moss around the edges between the rug and the wall. I wondered if any sunlight reached in here; there were no windows that I could see, but there were a few lights attached to the walls so that we weren't in total darkness. I squinted, the light wavering like candle flame, though it seemed like a bad idea to light fires inside of a tree.

I pointed at one of the light fixtures. "What... creates that light? I can't tell if there's a candle inside, or something else."

He waved a hand dismissively. "Magic." He must have seen my confused expression, because he laughed. "No, really. It was a gift from... from him. I'm not quite sure how it works, but it, well, it adjusts itself to the light level. It's a neat trick, at any rate, isn't it?"

I nodded, marvelling at the lights, wondering if the God would tell me how they worked someday.

The fox, sinking into the furs and pillows, beckoned to me. I crawled into the nest with him, and he pulled one of the pelts over us. He put his arm around me, and I nuzzled his chest.

_I feel so safe here. So warm._ That’s the last thought I can remember before I fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

When I awoke, I was alone. The magical lights on the walls were out, and there was soft sunlight streaming in from somewhere outside the hollow tree. I looked in the direction that we had entered, but there was no door that I could detect. I crawled out of the furs, pulling on the shirt I'd apparently tugged off in the night, and took a closer look. I still couldn't see a door, but maybe...

I gently placed my hands against the wall of the tree, in the general area where we'd entered before. The wood was warm to the touch. I didn't know the words he had spoken to open it from the outside, but after a moment, a small door opened anyway, smaller than the one he had made, as if the tree had known I was shorter than he was. Still on hands and knees, I crawled outside. My hands touched dirt and fallen leaves and soft moss, and before I could rise to my feet, I heard a voice.

"I see you've come out to greet the day. Good morning."

His lilting, ancient voice was unmistakable. I froze in place, barely breathing. It was not how I'd expected to encounter him again. 

"Come. Come to me. I wondered when I would see you again."

I hazarded a glance in the direction of his voice, though I didn't yet dare to raise my eyes, and saw plainly his dark furry legs, shining hooves planted firmly in the dirt. I had pressed my hands to that fur, rested my head against it. I knew what it felt like between my fingers, how soft it was when his legs were pressed against mine.

My ears did not deceive me: it was him. The Lord of the Forest had returned from whence he had gone.

Slowly, carefully I rose to my feet, my eyes still turned toward the ground, afraid to look at him directly. I walked toward him just as slowly, one unsteady step after another, until I was close enough for him to wrap both strong, wiry arms around me, pulling me close.

He kissed my temple, and I sighed in his arms.

"There is no need to be afraid. I am here."

I nodded, feeling almost numb. It seemed so strange, so impossible that he was there, and he was real, and he was not a dream or something I'd made up. I'd been dreaming of his arms around me, and there I was, pressed up against him, held by him, exactly where my heart felt I belonged.

"Won't you look at me?"

I licked my lips, considering my words. When I spoke it felt new, rough, as though I hadn't talked in ages. 

"I'm not sure I'm ready to bear it. I've never seen you in the daylight."

He loosened his embrace, instead reaching his hands back around to grasp mine. He squeezed my hands gently. His hands were larger than mine, but soft, and a little cold. He lifted one hand, then, to tilt my chin up toward him, and slowly, as though I was now allowed, I raised my eyes. When his eyes met mine, I felt weak in the knees, as though I'd collapse, but I stayed as steady as I could.

His hair was as curly as I'd remembered, though it glowed a little redder in the soft sunlight. Instead of the long antlers I'd seen, he had what looked like the horns of a goat, a shade or two darker than his hair, pointed backwards, hard to notice if not for the vines twined around each one, beginning and ending somewhere in his curls. There were a few small morning glories at the base of each horn, some white, some purple. His eyes were deep, moss-green, a reflection of the forest around us.

Before I could speak again, his rough pink mouth was on mine, and he had to catch me in his arms. He laughed, not at me, but with joy, a light, tinkling sound.

"In time, I think, you won't find my presence such a heavy burden. Let us sit on the ground, if you find it hard to stand."

He crouched, pulling me down with him, and indelicately sat on the ground with a plop. I remember thinking it must be difficult to sit on the ground gracefully with hooves like that and legs that bend backwards, yet he did it with boyish charm anyway. He placed one hand over mine in the dirt, smiling at me.

"Welcome home."

His mere touch made my heart so full I could barely breathe. For all the time I'd spent away from the forest after our first encounter, I'd spent wondering if he was real, if I'd dreamed him, if it was just my own imagination inventing this man, this creature, to fill some empty spot in my heart.

And yet, there he was: the God, not even before me, or above me, but by my side, quietly holding my hand. He was soft and warm and _real_ and he had been _thinking of me_ just as I'd been thinking of him.

Gently, I leaned against his shoulder.

"Did you know I would come back?"

"I am never completely certain, but I had an idea that you would return to me, yes. I can usually tell, though there have been times outside circumstances did not allow for it."

I didn't ask him what that meant, just nuzzled his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head. 

"I missed you. I... I kept dreaming of you." I took a deep breath. "It was... I guess you could say, interrupting my waking life." I turned my hand under his so that my palm faced upward, grasping his hand with my fingers. "I was, you know, losing time. I would be here with you in my mind and then when I'd come back to myself it was hours later."

"It is hard to be away from here when it's where you belong, I think. It is not a place easily left. It is not quite the same for me, but I am all through these woods. They are a part of me. When I go, it is only because I need to." He rested his head atop mine briefly. "I see you've been enjoying the fox's company."

My face turned crimson. Of _course_ he had seen me coming out of the fox's home in the hollow tree. Of _course_ he had to know. "Yes," I said, guilty, not wanting to elaborate.

He brought our twined fingers up to his lips and kissed them briefly. "Glad you could keep one another out of trouble."

I opened my mouth for a moment, unsure what to say next. Had we kept each other out of trouble, or caused trouble...?

"But we didn't... we, ah..."

"He is a sly one, my fox, and easily bored. I don't mind that the two of you made love with one another, if that's what you are worried about." ('Made love' isn't the exact wording he used, but it was some kind of metaphor that sounded nicer in his language.) "I know well his skill in the arts of the bedroom. I would rather you be together than have either of you feel lonely."

I stuttered a few syllables, gathering my wits before speaking again. "You... of course you knew. You know everything that happens here, don't you?"

I felt him nod against the top of my head. "Yes. The trees hide nothing from me."

"Can we... can you show me where you live?" I felt desperate to change the subject.

He made a broad gesture with the hand that wasn't holding mine. "You see it before you, do you not?"

"No, I mean like how the fox lives in this hollow tree. Where do you sleep?"

"That depends. Sometimes I sleep in the form of an animal. I do have a hall, deep beneath the earth, that might be called my home. It does not have a fixed place as the fox's home does, but is anywhere I choose to enter it. Would you like to see?"

"I would love to." In my mind, I couldn't help but append _my lord_.

Letting go of my hand, he stood up, steadying himself briefly and lightly on the top of my head. I rose next to him, reminded just how tall he was compared to me. With both of us standing, the top of my head didn't even reach his shoulders. I watched him concentrate, staring at the ground, before he made three deliberate strikes at the earthen ground with one hoof, and a crack formed there, widening enough to admit a person into whatever passage was below.

"It is dark in this passage, and you will need a light. Once we get through, you will be able to see, but for now..." He held his hands together, and a glow formed between them. He pulled his hands apart slightly, and the glow grew larger to fill the space. "Hold one hand open. It's but mere light, it won't harm you. Just don't drop it. Think of it as a torch - either the kind with fire at the end or the electric sort." He placed the ball of light into my hand, and I was surprised that it didn't seem warm or anything, just felt like something strange and round and light. I vaguely wanted to know if it bounced, but he had told me not to drop it, so I didn't dare.

"You first, dear one. I'll close the earth behind us."

 _Dear one._ I blushed in the dark.

I took a few steps forward, with him following behind, and once he was down far enough I saw everything in my vision grow dark save the glow I held in my hands.

"There are no steps, just a long incline and then a hallway. Keep going straight ahead until you are forced to turn, then go right. I will be right behind you."

I glanced back at him, and I noticed that he didn't seem to need a light. I could barely make out his general shape, and his green eyes shining in the dark. I took a deep breath and kept walking. The ground below me was dirt, though it was hard packed and was firm beneath my bare feet. The incline went on for a good while, and I could only imagine how deep beneath the surface we must be. Eventually, just as he said, the ground flattened out into a hallway that no longer brought us further underground, and I almost walked right into the wall when the hallway ended, though he caught me by the shoulder before I could. I turned, and in the far distance I thought I could see some sort of light.

"Is that where we're going?" I pointed, carefully holding the orb of light in my other hand.

"Yes. It won't be much longer now."

I nodded and walked in the direction of the light. When I got closer, I noticed that there was something hanging down across the doorway to which we were headed. If I had been in a house or an apartment, I would have assumed it was some kind of beaded curtain, since I could see bits of light in between whatever was hanging down, but as we neared the doorway, I could see it was thin, fibrous plant roots growing down from above, almost reaching the ground. 

"What's the purpose of these?" I reached out to touch one.

"I suppose you could say it's a form of security. If someone made it this far, they would have to go through this doorway to reach my hall. The moment these roots are touched, I know instantly, no matter where I am. I cannot always say the same about the mere earth from which these hallways are carved."

"I guess that makes sense. But how can someone get down here without you letting them in? Don't you have to open the door?"

He gently nudged me through the doorway through the hanging roots. "For someone like you, yes. But I am not the only one like me in the world. One never knows."

I considered this, wondering what exactly he considered _like him._ A forest spirit? A god? Something else? I didn't ask. I figured if he wanted to tell me, he would.

Stepping further into the main room, I was met with a soft glow from lights hanging on the walls, similar to the lights in the fox's home or the glowing orb I still carried.

I held the orb out to him. "What should I do with this, now?"

He took it from me and with a single gesture, it disappeared. “I can always make another, later, if I need to.”

"What is this place _for_? Do you keep things down here? It looks... kind of empty."

"That is because I am not using it. This is where I receive guests. There are times when I have... well, we have... I suppose you would call it a _celebration_."

"A celebration? Like a big party? Wait, _we_?"

"Sometimes with those like you - or, well, like you will be. Like the fox, you see. He is not the only resident of the forest who was once human."

I blinked slowly. "There are others? How... how many?" My heart beat faster in my chest, though I wasn't sure if it was for a good reason. My face must have betrayed my emotions, because he took me in his arms and kissed the top of my head.

"Most of them do not have a sexual relationship with me, if that's what you're worried about, though it need not worry you anyhow. Some of them just realised they belonged here, and stayed." 

I opened my mouth and closed it, nodding. "How... can you tell if someone is going to be... like that, with you?"

He chuckled, a deep, throaty sound. "I don't know how well you recall the events of the night we met, but _you_ approached _me_ first."

I blushed again, nodding. "I... you're right. I just felt so... I had to be near you. Touch you." I cleared my throat. "Worship you."

"And here you are," he said, smiling.

"And here I am," I said, smiling back.

I moved closer, pressing up against him, curling my arms around his midsection. "It's cold down here. Do you have somewhere warmer, maybe?"

Gently, he steered me toward a different doorway than the one we'd come through; I hadn't noticed it in the soft light. The second doorway was a little taller, more narrow than the first, though there were no roots growing down into it either. Inside the room there were more magical lights, though in that room they shone red, with a faint, gentle, pulsing glow, where the other lights were mostly yellow-tinged and flickered like fire. The shape of the room was irregular, but it reminded me a lot of the fox's home, though it was about twice the size. There were two tables, empty save a metal bowl in the center of each, pressed flush against the carved-dirt walls on either side of the doorway, and I felt an urge to leave something there as an offering, though of course I had nothing to give. (Nothing physical I could leave behind, anyway.) Rather than just a pile of furs and pillows like the fox had, there was a raised platform opposite the doorway, topped with its own mound of furs over what appeared to be some sort of mattress. The fox's nest had been haphazard and cosy, though, and this was much neater, with layers and layers of furs and woven mats of leafy vines and other things I couldn't quite tell. 

He stepped forward, reaching the bed in only a few strides, his legs impossibly long compared to mine. He beckoned to me, turning down the bed for me to climb in.

"Are you sure?" I hesitated, unsure how to explain what I was feeling. "Something about this room, this... this bed... seems. I don't know. Sacred? Important?" I furrowed my brow. "I felt like I should leave an offering at the door, for... for... you. For you. It was a strange feeling, like a compulsion. But I didn't have anything to leave. So it feels like maybe I shouldn't be here."

He inclined his head toward me. "It is both of those things, but it is not true that you have nothing to offer. Come. Get warm." He beckoned to me again, with his whole hand. Cautiously, I stepped forward. The closer I got to his bed, the warmer I already felt. 

"Should I... take my clothes off, maybe?" I said, already itching to get them off. 

He nodded. "In this place, if you feel like you should do something, if it feels right, you should trust your instincts. In time, they will grow stronger." 

I took a deep breath, still feeling hesitant, but trying to trust his words. "Should I put them somewhere? I don't feel right just dropping them on the floor."

"Under the table to the right of the door there is a drawer you may put them in."

Immediately I felt like I should have known that somehow, and kicked myself mentally, even though logically there was no way I _could_ have known. I took off my clothes, one piece at a time, methodically, folding each piece and placing them neatly in the drawer - only three pieces, really, since I'd left my shoes and socks behind after my dalliance with the fox. I pushed the drawer back in the table and it clicked shut, though it hadn't seemed locked when I pulled it out. 

The farther from him I walked, the colder I felt in that room. I could have almost sworn the air was so cold I could have seen my breath, though, of course, I couldn't. Either way, I quickly moved back toward him, feeling a strong sense of relief the closer we became. I looked at the bed he'd turned down for me (for us?) and, obeying him and his suggestion that I do what felt right, I crawled into it, scooting to the other side, closing my eyes and sighing happily as the many layers drew the cold from my body. After what seemed like an eternity, but what was probably only a moment or two, I felt him crawl in bed next to me. In the span of a heartbeat I took his hand in mine, holding tightly to it, pressing his fingers to my forehead in thanks. He leaned over and kissed the top of my head, his lips feather-soft against my scalp.

The feel of him stirred something in me, and it was not much longer before I felt words slip from my mouth, even before I could think them.

"How may I serve you, my Lord?"

I looked shyly into his eyes, and his face was so kind and full of love that I felt grateful tears start to form.

"Do what feels right. _Show_ me how you feel." He squeezed my hand. “Give freely and from the heart. No more, and no less.”

I brought one hand up to his face, hovering there briefly. "May I... may I touch you?"

"Of course, if that is what you are moved to do."

I propped myself up on one elbow so that I could look at him properly. Reverently, I cupped his face with my palm, feeling his warmth, my hand still cool from before we climbed under the covers. I felt him gently lean his face into my hand, still smiling, and I pulled my hand back a little to run my fingers over the roughness of his beard before bravely tilting his chin up, looking into his moss-green eyes, the soft, faint reddish glow of the lights dancing over his skin.

And then, I leaned down, with lowered eyelashes and a grateful heart, and kissed his lips, as soft as I had remembered, and just as warm. I felt an ache at the idea of parting the kiss, but from there I moved downward, kissing along his jawline, his long neck, each shoulder in turn, and ending in the center of his chest where I rested my head, wrapping my arm around his waist.

I could hear his heart beat in his chest, steady and insistent, a strange inhuman rhythm that was both comforting and unsettling, like the sound of distant drumming, or hard rain against a metal roof.

I ran my hand along his side and was delighted to find he was ticklish there, squirming a bit at my touch with a soft laugh. (I didn't know gods could be ticklish.) I almost gasped when my hand ran down from his flesh into fur, burrowing my fingers into its softness and warmth.

Scooting further down the bed, I rested my head on his hip, my hand still revelling in the softness of his fur as I pulled my hand gently toward me to rest between his legs where he was warmest. I could see the rising and falling of his chest as he breathed, and I kept glancing over to see if his breathing would grow faster as I began to stroke the longer, softer fur around his sheath, but it remained steady even as I could see him gradually start to grow erect, his cock slowly but surely displaying itself to me.

(I didn't remember him having a sheath the first time we had lain together, but it was also true that he could take different forms if he so chose. It was also entirely possible that he was... already aroused when I offered my worship, and it wasn't exactly on my mind to ask at the time. In any case, my time with the fox ensured that I knew what it was and what to do with it.)

Once his cock was sticking out far enough, I wrapped my hand around that instead, stroking it a little firmer, a little faster, until he was fully erect, and I blushed at the size of it, not overly thick, no knot at the base like the fox had, but almost as long as my forearm, pointed toward the end without a defined head like a human's. Since his lower half was that of a deer, despite wearing horns rather than antlers on his head, I supposed his cock must be that of a deer as well, though I had never seen one and could only guess.

I looked up at him with uncertainty, but he was smiling a patient, downright beatific smile down at me, and I couldn't help but smile back. Gingerly, I pointed his cock toward me, leaning toward it and taking the tip into my mouth, tasting him for the first time since my return to the forest. He was earthy and a little sweet somehow, a taste I hadn't realised I'd missed as much as I missed the musky, animal scent of his fur. I couldn't gather much of him into my mouth while my head was still resting on his hip, so I pulled back for a moment.

"Here, can I... can you..." I tucked a hand around his far leg. "Can you roll towards me? I want to... need to, um... well..." I took a deep breath. "Worship you better."

Wordlessly, he obliged, allowing me to tug him where I pleased, rolling with me until he was on his side, his cock pointed directly at my face, and I felt his hand gently stroke my hair. I could no longer resist the urge to take his cock as far into my mouth as I could without choking, and I held him there, tasting him still, feeling his heat on my tongue. After a moment or two, I slowly started bobbing my head, stroking the rest of his great length with my hand, my hand and head moving in sync with one another. 

It was not much longer before I felt unable to control myself: I had to taste him fully, to feel the hot rush of his seed on my tongue, to please him as completely as I could. I moved faster, firmer, with my hand and my lips and my tongue, until I could hear the slightest, softest, breathiest moans coming from his own lips, the loveliest sound I could possibly hear, since I knew it meant he was close. I could feel my own erection hard against my belly, though I was so concentrated on pleasing him and I felt such a connection with him in that moment that part of me wondered if I would somehow come along with him, even though I wasn't being touched there.

He gently twined his long, delicate fingers into my curls, and I knew, though he didn't speak it aloud, that he was ready, and I took a deep breath in, my lips tight around the tip of his cock, my tongue licking at the underside, and stroked him quickly the rest of the way, until finally, _finally,_ he spilled his seed into my waiting mouth, his soft moans turning to stuttering gasps for air, his hand petting my head as I'd petted his fur. Even when he had finished, part of me didn't want to let him out of my mouth, wanted to keep lying there, sucking gently at him, satisfied.

He silently stroked my hair for a little while longer, until, gently, he pulled himself out of my mouth, tilting my chin up to smile down at me. I blushed at my behaviour, how hungry I had been for him, how hungry, in a way, I still felt. He beckoned me upward, and I scooted further up the bed, resting my head on a soft lump of furs that took the place of a proper pillow. He kissed my forehead. I felt content, despite my aching, untouched erection.

But he was not finished.

His eyes locked on mine, he grasped my right hand, placing it on my cock with a smile. His breathing was hot, steady, heavier still than when I was watching him, as though this moment, these gestures were more arousing than what I had just done for him. 

"You want me to, um..." I glanced downward. "finish myself?"

"Very much, yes."

"I've never, um, done it for an audience before."

"You wanted to leave an offering."

"I thought that's what I just did?"

"That was... well, that was the first part, I guess you could say. But I need to feel your... I need to feel the sensation of you, of your climax. Your energy. It may seem strange to you, but this is just a different form of worship." His eyes were sharp, intense, and I could see the sparkle in them even in the strange dim light of his bedroom. He ran a finger along the vein on the underside of my cock. 

I gasped at his touch, my breath coming out in a stutter. I nodded quickly, my eyes intent on him, and curled my hand around my cock in a firm grip, stroking quickly already, not wanting to wait. 

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine, resting his hand on my thigh. Our tongues tentatively entered each other's mouths, and I pulled back briefly to boldly nibble at his lower lip, causing him to chuckle. His mouth tasted sweeter than his cock, but still seemed earthy, spicy like cinnamon. He trailed kisses along my jawline, nipping at my ear, and I could feel him breathing against me. I stroked myself faster, starting to pant, and something about his hot breath in my ear was driving me on, pushing me closer, though I'd only been going for a couple of minutes.

"Yes," he whispered in my ear. " _Yes._ "

I couldn't help but moan, starting to use both hands, one stroking the shaft, the other working over the head. I wanted to please him in any way I could, even though it seemed counterintuitive to do so by pleasing myself. 

He squeezed my thigh lightly, somehow communicating a sense of urgency with a simple gesture. 

"Please," he whispered, the sound of his voice almost begging. " _Come for me._ "

That one short sentence was all it took for me to spill over my hand, great sudden spurts that came as a surprise to me, at least, if not to him. I moaned, long and low, as I came, and I felt his whole body stiffen against me, his voice in unison with mine, as though he were climaxing with me. I watched him as my orgasm ebbed, his face the very image of rapture. 

When I was completely finished, my cock beginning to soften, he lazily ran a finger through the seed I had left on my belly, bringing it to his lips to taste. He seemed to find it agreeable, too, since afterward he did that a few more times, savouring it.

"Do I... taste good?" I asked, curious.

"You taste lovely. Perhaps another time I'll have to taste it straight from the source." He grinned an impish grin I'd never seen on him that reminded me of the fox. 

I blushed at the idea of him sucking me off. "I, um... I mean, I'd never say no to that."

"Aye, I bet you wouldn't." He laughed his wonderful twinkling chime of a laugh.

"Is it all right to sleep here?"

"Yes, of course. Have I tired you out? I have _more_ energy now, if I'm honest."

I nodded, smiling sleepily. "Will you, uh..." I looked away, almost _more_ embarrassed to ask him something that _wasn't_ sexual. "Will you stay here with me? Maybe... hold me 'til I fall asleep?"

He kissed my forehead, tucking one arm around me. "Of course, dear one. Rest well in my arms."

I sighed, even more content than I had been before my orgasm. "Thank you."

"Thank _you._ "


	8. Chapter 8

I was alone again when I woke up, and without the guidance of the glowing orb the god had given me, I had to walk slowly, blindly, up the hallway down which we had arrived, my hand patting the walls of hard-packed dirt every few steps, making sure I was still going the right direction. It didn't occur to me that I wouldn't be able to leave the way I came until I had walked so far that my head touched dirt above me, and I remembered that I was only able to enter the god's underground domain by his power, that I was not sure if there was a way for me to exit at all. 

I placed both my hands above me, flat against the dirt ceiling, seemingly impossibly suspended there, and pushed. 

Nothing.

I thought about it for a moment, and instead of trying to physically push the dirt, instead, I looked up, though it was too dark to see, and _asked_ for it to open to me, to let me out. After a few moments, I was blinded by the sudden light above me. The dirt had gone, and in its place was open air. I hoisted myself up out of the ground with some difficulty, and when I stood up and brushed myself off, I turned to find that there was no longer a hole to climb out of. 

It was as if there had never been an entrance there at all. I stepped where I thought the hole had been, even jumping up and down a few times, but... nothing.

I didn't see any creature I recognised, though of course it was possible that they were watching me anyway. I heard the call of a bird somewhere to my left, but it was hidden from me by leaves and branches.

I decided to explore on my own, to learn this place in which I had decided to stay, perhaps to find landmarks so I could more easily navigate. I had no idea how large the forest was, since I had only ever entered from one side, and the fox's home was not much farther in. Walking the perimeter of the forest seemed like a good place to start, though I didn't want to be close enough to the edges that any outsiders could easily spot me. I started in the place I began, where the stream trickled into the ground, and began my walk, turning left at the stream. 

Along the way, I noted the different types of trees growing in the forest - some, like oak and maple and pine, were easy to tell, just from memory, and some I had never seen before. I made a note to ask the Lord of the Forest to teach them to me, that I might know them by their leaves, their bark, their flowers and fruits.

There were shrubs, too, with berrylike fruits that I was not sure were edible, ground-covering plants that grew like thin vines on the forest floor, lichens and mosses which I'd likely never be able to tell apart.

I had a lot to learn, especially if I was going to feed myself, and I was growing hungry.

I wasn't sure how long it took me to navigate the length of the forest I had been walking along, since I no longer had any way to tell time save the sun's path in the sky, which was not always easy to see under the thick branches of the deep forest, but it seemed to have been quite a while. I sat down on a log to rest a while, my ears attuning to the sounds of my surroundings: distant, quiet birdsong, dry leaves blowing in the whistling wind, the rustle of small creatures in the trees.

And then I heard it: a loud cry, more than once, far enough from me that I could not see its origin, but close enough that I could probably find out.

It sounded human, and it sounded terrified. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what was causing something or someone to make that sound, but this was my home now. If there was a creature causing trouble, I needed to know. I would call upon the Lord of the Forest if I had to, if he was not already there.

There - there was that sound again. Cautiously, I crept closer to the sound, reorienting myself each time I heard it, though my heart was pounding in my chest, and I was afraid of suffering the same fate as whatever was making that noise.

The sound grew louder, more insistent, the closer I got, and part of me wanted to run, to flee from both the terrible noise and whatever was causing it, but I pressed on.

I could tell the sounds were coming from directly in front of me, but I couldn't see what was making them yet. It was curious to me that something could make those terrified noises, but not be trying to flee.

There was an old, thick tree blocking my view, and I got as close to the trunk as I could before slowly, quietly peeking around the side of it, and when I saw where the noise was coming from, I was glad I had not run.

The god's hooves were planted firmly in the dirt, a light sheen of sweat upon his back and dampening his curls, his impressive antlers pointed toward the sky. His hands were tight around the fox's waist, his long fingers pressed into the skin there, and the fox was more foxlike than I had previously seen him while he wore the shape of a man. His long, fluffy tail curved up over his back as the god thrust into him roughly from behind, causing him to make the loud sounds I had heard. He was bent over a fallen tree, his hands gripping the bark, and I could see his cock pointed toward the earth and the drips of seed it had already left there.

I was hard in an instant at the sight of them, and I must have gasped, even though I was trying to stay quiet, because the god looked over at me and smiled, winking at me, his rhythm never changing. The fox did not seem to notice me, his face turned away, the pointed ears upon his head turned in the same direction. Before I could give it much thought, my hand had unzipped my pants and pulled out my cock, and I was stroking myself as I watched them, most of my body still hidden from their view, though I felt sure the god knew what I was doing, perhaps even wanted me to. 

Had he known I would find them?

The sounds that their bodies made, now that I could hear them, would have been enough to arouse me, but the sight of them together was enough to make my whole body feel like it was on fire, and I was close enough that I could catch a whiff of their strange animal musk on the breeze, much stronger together then either of them was individually. 

It was too much to take in all at once, and when I finally watched the fox come, first with the same loud cry he had been making, then whimpering, his seed splashing hard onto the forest floor and forming a small puddle, I did the same, though in not nearly so large a volume, marking the side of the tree I was hiding behind.

And yet, even still, I couldn't take my eyes off them. After all, the Lord of the Forest had not finished, even if the fox and I had.

His body slack against the downed tree, though he still gripped it nearly as hard as he had before, the fox no longer cried out loudly, but never stopped making sweet sounds as the god took his pleasure, and when, finally, he released into the fox, his cry was nearly a shout, his voice echoing around us in a way that was almost eerie. Gently, slowly, he leaned backward, pulling himself free of the fox, and when he was all the way out, I saw that his cock had been that of a deer, long and thin, as I had seen it before. I was impressed that the fox had taken it so readily and so rough, and I blushed to think of it, even _despite_ what I had just done and witnessed. 

He had never been that rough with me, but I wondered if he would, or if he thought me too delicate somehow. Maybe I was too new to this world, my body still unchanged, or maybe that was something that only he and the fox shared. I wasn't sure I should ask.

The fox turned around, gingerly sitting upon the tree, his tail like a waterfall over the other side. He took the god's long-fingered hands in his, bringing them to his lips to reverently kiss the palms, then gently rubbing his cheek against them. The Lord of the Forest pulled him close afterward, kissing the top of his head between his pointed ears. 

I backed away silently, tucking myself back into my pants and fastening them, resolving to go far around the area if I was to continue my walk, so they wouldn't see me.

Not that it mattered much. The god had _already_ seen me, after all.

I couldn’t remember where I’d come from since I’d left the perimeter of the forest to follow the fox’s noises, so I just walked away from the scene in one direction, hoping to see something I’d walked past earlier, though nothing looked too familiar. _I’m never going to learn this place,_ I thought to myself. _Right now, at least, all the trees just look like trees, I can’t tell them apart after a while._ When I got to the edge of the forest, I turned left, just as I had at the beginning of my walk. I didn’t think that I was in a section I’d already walked through, but I couldn’t be sure. 

I leaned against a fairly young oak tree to catch my breath, a little from the walk but more from my previous exertion, and I was surprised to note that I _felt_ something when I touched it, a strange sensation that could almost, but not quite, be described as _warmth_ , but not the warmth of the sun, more like the warmth of kindness. It seemed that the tree I was touching had a personality, but one I couldn’t quite grasp. 

Trees are alive, of course, and this one had vibrant green leaves, but as far as I knew, trees were not able to communicate with humans.

Then again, the god was not human, either. I wondered if he could communicate with them the way he could with animals.

I walked on for a few steps, and out of curiosity I reached out to touch a different tree - what I thought was an ash tree, though I wasn’t sure. I concentrated on the sensation, and what I felt was definitely _different_ than what I’d felt when I touched the oak tree. I couldn’t explain it, and I couldn’t describe what exactly made it different, but it _was_ different. The two trees were about the same size, probably about the same age, just different species, and I wondered if age entered into a tree’s personality. I saw another tree, much larger, not far from where I was, and walked over to touch that one, too. I couldn’t tell what kind of tree it was, just that it wasn’t one that I knew, with leaves I hadn’t seen before and very rough, grooved bark. I laid my hands on it and found myself confused. Where I had felt a distinct warmth in the other two trees, this one felt almost… empty. Hollow. It didn’t appear to be dead, since the bark looked healthy and the leaves waved green above me, but it had no personality like the others. 

And then, it occurred to me: was this someone's home?

I knelt down on the ground and put my hands on the trunk of the tree as I had with the fox's home, and focused on the door opening for me.

Nothing happened. Then again, I had only opened _that_ door from the inside. Shrugging, I knocked where I felt the door should be, but there was no response.

 _Maybe I was wrong?_ I thought to myself, rising to my feet and brushing the dirt off my pants. I took a step back and peered up at the tree, only to be interrupted by an acorn that almost hit me in the eye, bouncing off my forehead.

"Hey!" I shouted upward. "That hurt!" I squinted, but I couldn't see where the acorn had come from. It definitely didn't fall off the tree naturally; the tree didn't have acorns for seeds.

Another acorn hit me, this time in the shoulder. 

"Please come down here and talk to me," I shouted, as calmly as I could. "I mean you no harm."

Shortly, a small, skinny red squirrel darted down the tree head first, rising up on its two back feet once it reached the ground to look up at me. 

"I apologise if I have trouble understanding you," I said in the forest tongue, "but I've never spoken with a squirrel before."

The squirrel gestured with its hands, much like the fox did when he was in animal form. _Why are you trying to get into my house? And how do you speak our language?_

"So it _is_ someone's home! That's what I was trying to figure out. This tree felt different from the other ones."

 _Yes, it's someone's home, it's_ my _home. Like I just said. Of course it feels different, it's magic._

"I'm sorry, I never felt the difference between trees until today. Oh, and I speak your language because the god taught it to me."

 _The god? Oh, you mean the Antlered One._ The squirrel nodded. _He is known as a giver of gifts, to be sure._

"I... haven't been here very long."

_I can tell, young one._

"I was trying to learn the forest, but there's too much forest to learn in one day, I think."

_It will take you years to learn - and then it will change on you. It changes as he wills, just like we do._

I blushed and nodded. "It's getting dark, now, though, and I think I should go back to where I've been sleeping, but I'm not sure how to get there."

_Has he not grown a home for you yet...?_

"No, it's only been... um, two or three days? Maybe four? I've lost track of time. I've been staying with the fox."

_I hope you realise there is more than one fox in this forest. Be more specific._

"Well, he, uh..." I bit my lip. "When he's in the shape of a fox, he's rusty orange with black paws and a big, bushy tail with a white tip, but he always looks mischievous. In the form of a man he's got long blond hair, small blue eyes that sparkle, and a beard," I tugged on mine, "a little more than mine, around his mouth."

 _Oh, I know the fox you speak of, yes._ The squirrel made a sound, like a squeak or a chitter, that I wasn't sure was laughter, but it seemed like it to me. _He spends... a lot of time with the Antlered One, right?_

"...Yes, that's the one. I've been staying with him in his home."

The squirrel pointed with one foreleg. _Go that way. It's almost the length of the forest, now, but if you keep going straight you'll get there. If you get lost, just ask out loud. Some animal should hear you._ The squirrel put its paw on my foot, patting it a few times. _We are neighbours now. Sorry for hitting you with the acorns._

"It's okay. Sorry for trying to go into your house."

I started walking in the direction the squirrel had pointed, and in a twist of fate, I actually _didn't_ get lost. I recognised the fox's home tree the moment I saw it, despite looking at hundreds of trees.

As I approached, the small door opened to me, and I knelt down. When I poked my head inside, I was face to face with the fox, in his animal shape, and he licked my cheek happily.

By the time I crawled inside and stood, he had taken the shape of a man.

"I wondered if you'd make it back before nightfall."

“Yeah, I, uh…” I had to look away from him, because all I could think of was how I’d seen him earlier, bent over the fallen tree, being fucked so hard I could hear his cries halfway across the forest. “I got lost, but someone pointed me in the right direction.”

“Oh, that’s good. I wondered if you’d met anyone else yet,” he said, turning down the furs from the head of his bed so we could climb in. I crawled in to the side nearest me, and he entered from the other side, pulling the covers up. I still couldn’t look at him, and I felt my face getting warm.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I, uh, I’m fine. You?”

“I’m _grand_. Ready for a good, long sleep.” He reached one finger up to tilt my face toward him. “There some reason you’re avoiding my gaze?”

I bit my lip, glancing up at him warily, but his eyes were sparkling, he was smiling, a strand of his dark blond hair fell across his forehead, and I had to look away again. “I, uh… um…”

He leaned forward to kiss me, gently, his nose brushing against mine. “You…?”

I couldn’t hold it in anymore, and it came out in a rush. “Earlier, I was exploring the forest and I heard a noise and I thought someone was in trouble so I went to investigate and it was _you_ making the noises because you were... he was...” 

He paused for a moment. “Ah.” He licked his lips. “Saw us, did you? Do you think differently of me now?”

“No, of course not,” I said, shaking my head. 

“Just that you’ve, ah, never seen me that way, maybe?” he guessed.

I shook my head again. “No, I mean, I uh, noticed that he was, um, a bit rougher with you than… uh… well…”

It was the fox’s turn to blush, then, which I also hadn’t seen, since he was usually so confident and forward. “It can… be nice, that way, sometimes.”

“Yeah, I could, um, tell that you were enjoying yourself a _lot._ ”

“I always do, that’s the whole point, isn’t it?”

“Of course, I just, um…”

He reached over to squeeze my hand. “Just tell me, I can’t stand the anticipation anymore.”

“When I was watching you, I...” I glanced downward for a second. “I, um. Enjoyed myself, too. I didn’t mean to, I just… I couldn’t help myself.” I cleared my throat. “Made… a mess on the tree that I was standing behind, too.”

“And I never noticed? I’m impressed.”

“You were… very busy. He saw me, though. He looked over and smiled and _winked_ at me, but never lost his rhythm.”

The fox laughed. “Of _course_ he knew you were there. He probably knew you were coming before _you_ did. In both senses of the word, I guess.”

“He… knows what’s happening all through the forest, doesn’t he?” I scooted a little closer to the fox, draping an arm over him.

“He does, though I can’t wrap my head around how he can know all of that at once and still stay sane. I barely have enough room in my head for eating and fucking, never mind the rest.”

“I guess that’s why he is what he is, and we are what we are, or… something like that. Maybe the other way around.”

“There’s definitely a lot more to him than it seems at first glance. I’ve known him for a very long time now, and he still finds new ways to surprise me.”

I snuggled close to him, growing drowsy now that I didn’t have the anxiety of having to keep the secret from him anymore. 

“That’s good, though, maybe. I like surprises.”


	9. Chapter 9

When I woke, I felt warm underneath the furs, with a body pressed up against my back, one arm around my middle. I wiggled a little, and the sounds I heard let me know that it was the fox in bed with me, in the shape of a man, and not our Lord. (Even though I had fallen asleep in the fox’s home with him, I found I could not always be sure who I was going to wake up next to.) I put my hand over his, nestling close to him, but I was still too warm.

"Are you awake, Fox?" I said, quietly, so as not to wake him if he was still asleep. He murmured something that wasn't quite words, kissing the back of my head. Slowly, I turned to face him, his arm still curled around me, and I planted a kiss to his sleepy, smiling lips, gently rubbing my nose against his. His narrow, beady eyes smiled just the same as his mouth, and he slid his hand down to squeeze my butt lightly, pulling me closer.

"M'awake now. Still sleepy. Y'okay?" he said, clearing his throat after. 

"Mmhmm. Just wasn't sure who was next to me at first. I'm not used to waking up next to someone yet."

"I don't like sleeping alone if I can help it. Especially when it's getting cold out there at night."

"Me either. But your bed is always warm, and so is his."

"I can find you by scent now, you know, just like I can find him."

"Seems like you wouldn't need to this time, though, since I was in your bed."

"No, but even if you weren't, I mean. Just made it easier."

"Planning on playing hide and seek?"

"No. I'll win, unless I'm playing against him. He has... ways of hiding that I could only dream of."

"...You have ways of hiding, too." I grinned bashfully, sliding a hand between us to touch him between his legs. "Or at least, hiding parts of you."

"Ah, so is _that_ the kind of hide and seek you're after?"

"It just might be." I petted him there, squeezing firmly, but not too hard. He inhaled sharply. 

"You've already found me. It's your turn to hide."

"And where, my dear, would you like me to hide it?" He reached one hand up and put a finger to my lips. "Here, maybe?"

I shook my head, blushing. "Not this time." 

A smile crept over his face, his eyes twinkling. "Not many other places to hide, then, man."

"Mmhmm, but..." I rolled over again to face away from him, backing up to press my ass against his cock, which had begun to peek out.

"You sure about that? Even with... you know..." He reached his hand down to grip my half-hard cock at the base.

"Your knot," I hummed, thrusting softly into his hand. "Maybe... I want that."

He nipped at my ear, whispering loud and hot, "Who am I to deny such a request?"

I shivered against him, aching, ready. 

He tugged at me, scooting away, trying to pull me toward his side of the bed. "C'mon, over here. It'll be easier if you bend over the bed, so I can hold you by the waist."

Still humming softly, my nerves on fire, I crawled over to him, climbing down off the bed to rest my bare feet on the ground, leaning down onto the bed, my ass in the air.

I looked back at him as best I could, and felt one rough finger run down the split in my backside, stopping briefly at my entrance, tickling me there, making me wiggle against him.

"I managed to... procure something that may help us, here, a gentle sort of oil that will make you slick."

"You... got lube out here somehow?" I snickered. "I mean, they sell that sort of thing in town, you know. For, you know, easing the passage."

He pinched me. "Yes, I guess you could call it that, though it's made from a certain kind of plant that shouldn't hurt you." 

"I'm not going to complain as long as it feels good."

"Oh, it will."

I felt him drip something onto me, cooler than my skin, and spread it over my entrance with two rough fingers. He pressed one finger into me, gently, and I pushed back against it. "I... think you can use two, if they're slick like that."

"Already?" he said, with a hint of mirth. He dripped a little more onto his fingers, pressing both of them into me, slowly, steadily. 

I sighed, relaxing around them. "You weren't wrong, whatever that is feels much nicer than any other kind of lubrication I've felt." 

"Told you."

"Want you though, not your fingers."

"Not quite ready, though. Getting there."

I bit my lip. "So put it in as best you can, and fuck me 'til it _is_ ready. How's that?"

I heard a light growl behind me, his fingers drawing out of me perhaps a little too quickly. "Demanding, aren't we?"

"Should I have said _please?_ "

He spanked me lightly before spilling some of the oil over one of his hands and dripping it onto me, preparing himself by rubbing his cock between my cheeks. He held me apart with one oily hand and one dry, pressing into me as best as he was able, rolling his hips against me. He was not yet fully hard, it was true, but his cock was still wider than his two fingers, and the feel of him growing harder inside me as he pushed in and out of me was enough to make me gasp.

The harder he grew, the harder he slammed into me, holding me by the hips so tightly that I could swear I felt his claws, though he was in the shape of a man. He was wilder, more feral, than the first time we'd been together. My cock was pinned beneath me on the bed, and every time he thrust into me, I could tell that the sensation of the soft fur against me would eventually lead to my own release, if he kept moving that way. 

"I can't hold off from you much longer, now, I'm beginning to swell," he said, making a sound halfway between a growl and a grunt. 

"So don't," I said, pressing back against him as fiercely as I could. 

I could feel his knot growing wider as he pushed in and out of me, stretching me, until he was so deep in me that he could no longer pull out, his knot fast within me. He leaned over me, covering my whole body with his, and tucked his arms under mine, making soft whimpering sounds, his cock flooding me inside. He panted like the animal he was, and after that, I could feel him gently licking at my shoulder. 

"Do you think you could... I mean, you're bigger than me, can we move so I'm not trapped underneath you like this?"

"It won't be easy, but we can try. Lean up into me, let me lift you, see if we can stand that way."

I arched my back so that he could wrap his arms around my chest, and he lifted me with surprising ease. His knot was a little uncomfortable because of our height difference, but he pivoted the both of us around and sat on the bed, pulling me tight against his lap, and I gasped as his cock somehow managed to press even deeper into me. He kept his arms around me, gently rubbing his face against the side of my neck. I leaned my head atop his, enjoying every sensation.

My heart leapt when I heard a quiet, lilting voice from the far side of the room.

"I can't say that I expected to see what I am seeing now when I stepped in for a visit, but I also can't say I'm surprised."

My whole body blushed crimson at the sight of our Lord seeing us in such a state. It seemed that the fox felt no such embarrassment, since he didn't make any move to change what he was doing save looking up and giving him a big grin that I could barely see in my peripheral vision.

"Not going anywhere for a while, I see," the god said with a chuckle. He stepped toward us, and I noticed that instead of his usual hooves, his still-furry legs ended in wide-set paws, something like a dog or perhaps a wolf. His horns were curled like a ram's, though not nearly so large. "And judging by how hard you still are," he said, gently placing a hand on my cock, "it would seem that you might like a bit of assistance."

I squirmed in the fox’s lap, but nodded, biting my lip. 

I assumed that by _help_ he meant he was going to use the hand he had laid upon me, and my eyes went wide when he slowly dropped to his knees before me, resting his hands upon my thighs. He did not hesitate, then, but eagerly rushed to take my cock in his mouth, a shock of heat and sensation that made me instinctively clench around the fox's knot. The fox held me tight in his arms, helpless, as the god sucked me off, and it did not take longer than a minute or two for me to spill into his mouth with a loud cry, as the fox whined and whimpered into my ear. 

He rose from his position between my thighs, licking his smiling lips. His long arms were around the fox and me in an instant, soft kisses planted upon us both. 

"Perhaps I should come back when you are uncoupled," he said, without a hint of embarrassment or shame. 

Shyly, I shook my head. "Please don't leave us. We've missed you." I put one of my hands over one of the fox's, squeezing lightly, and he nodded in agreement.

"Let me tuck you back into the bed, then," the god said, and he helped us move together as one, scooting the both of us to one side, the fox farthest from him, and me in the middle of the bed. Our Lord climbed into bed after, pulling the furs up over all three of us, and the fox let go of me in order to hold hands with the god, who took my hand as well. The gentle, loving smile on the god's face is the last thing I remember from that night.

We fell asleep that way, and believe me when I tell you I had never felt so safe or so loved.


	10. Chapter 10

The next few days were less eventful. The fox showed me the best places to gather berries, and what _sorts_ of berries the forest offered. I found the squirrel whose home I had accidentally tried to break into, and got a long-winded explanation of every sort of nut I could ever want to eat. I gathered a few of each that sounded the most tasty, carrying them in a portion of my shirt that I upturned with one hand, though some of them I had never tried before, and sat on a smooth, flat stone, low to the ground, to eat my newfound snack. The berries were sweet, though not as sweet as the processed fruits I was used to, and the nuts were savoury, if unsalted. The flavours went together well in a strange sort of way that I would have never come up with on my own. When I was done, I did my best to hone my sense of navigation until I came upon clear, cool running water, of which I cupped my hands and drank eagerly.

Fed and refreshed, I sat upon a soft patch of dark moss to contemplate what I should do next. I remembered what the fox had told me, that if I had need of our Lord, that I could call upon him. I didn’t know what exactly constituted a need, and it was maybe more of a _want_ , but I had a question to ask him, something I’d been thinking about almost since I set foot in the forest again.

I wasn’t sure how loud or softly I should call to him, so I spoke in a normal tone of voice. I figured if he knew everything that happened in the entire forest, he would hear me no matter how loud I spoke, and he would come when and if he chose to.

“My lord…?” I glanced around, but I didn’t see anything change or move around me. “My lord, will you come and talk to me..?” I heard something behind me, a crinkling like footsteps on dead leaves, but no one was there.

When I turned back, the god was in front of me, amused and smiling, one eyebrow cocked. “You called?” He wore his most usual shape, his lower half deer, with shining antlers proud atop his head, and he was leaning on a long, spiraling staff made of dark, ashen wood. 

I blushed. He told me before that his presence would eventually stop being so _much_ for me, but I really doubted it. “Yeah, I had, um. A question to ask you, that I’ve been thinking about for, well, this whole time, really. Since I met the fox, I guess.”

“And what is that, dear one?”

“How do you… how does he, I mean, I guess… change into a fox? And um, why a fox for him? He does seem very foxlike even when he’s shaped like a man, but I didn’t know if that was maybe because he’s been a fox so long.”

“Ah, an age-old question, I think - does he come across that way because he has learned to become a fox, or has he become a fox because he always had those foxlike traits? He showed you what happened when he shifts his form, yes?”

“Yeah. I mean, I guess I understand that part of it, from watching, but, like, did _you_ pick his animal? Or did he choose it himself?”

“I would have to say _neither_ , if I am honest. I gave him the gift of shape-changing, but it was his own spirit who chose that gift’s form. It was not conscious, but pulled from within.”

I nodded slowly. “So… did you know what he was going to be before you, um, changed him? Or was it a surprise? Like, if I asked you what kind of animal I would turn into if I changed into an animal, would you know?”

“Perhaps,” he said, with a twinkle in his eye.

“If you _did_ know, would you tell me?”

“Ah, in _that_ way, I think, it would be a surprise. There is an underlying question behind the questions you’ve asked. Ask it.”

I looked down at my lap, smiling, caught. “I… can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to be able to become an animal like that. Is that… allowed? Is there something I need to do to, um, receive that gift?’

He stepped closer to me, kneeling down to my level. “If it is something you truly desire, I ask you to think on it for three days more, after which I will ask you again. There is a ritual - one of my own devising, of course, but a ritual still - and it takes time, both to plan and to enact.”

I nodded, pulling my knees up to my chin and curling my arms around my legs. “The fox told me on the first day I came back that you taught him to become an animal to keep him safe, and to help keep the forest safe. Do you know what he meant?”

“Ah, did he now? Well, there is safety in being a small, quick creature with sharp teeth, one that can burrow into small spaces. And, too, it is easier to mobilise your forest neighbours if you can more quickly reach them.” He smiled a wistful smile, briefly looking off into the distance. “I think he thinks of himself as the knight to my king, you know. That may explain the bit about keeping the forest safe.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just as I said - I think he would fight anyone, whether animal or human, if it were for my sake.” He held out one hand to me, and I took it in both of mine.

“I think he’s not wrong, though. The squirrel I talked to definitely knew that you two were… close.”

The god winked. “I didn’t say he was wrong.”

“Why three days, though?”

“Any shorter, and it could still be a rash decision. Any longer, and it would seem like a punishment, I think. That, and I have always been fond of the number, for reasons beyond even my ken. It seemed fitting.”

I nodded softly. “I’ve been thinking of it since I met the fox, like I said, but not, like… intentionally, I guess. And I don’t think I’ll change my mind, but I’ll keep thinking about it for the… wait, does the three days count today, or does it start tomorrow?”

He chuckled. “You really are earnest about this, aren’t you? Today is the first day. I will ask you the question when it’s time. I will gather what we need for the ritual before then. If you change your mind, do not worry. You will not disappoint me. It is not a light decision, and it cannot be reversed. And if you decide it is still what you want, but that it is not the right time, I would not force it upon you. The decision, in the end, is yours. I would never give such a gift to someone who was not prepared to receive it.” He leaned in, using his staff for balance, to kiss me on the cheek. 

“So… will you give me some kind of hint as to what kind of animal I’d turn into, if it happened right now?”

He shook his head, smiling. “Afraid not. That is part of this gift: the great mystery.”

“Is there anything else I need to do?”

“No, just do as you’ve been doing, but take the time to consider what I’ve asked. I must go prepare, among other things, so you may not see me again until the time has come for your decision to be made.”

I bit my lip. “All right.” I paused. “I’ll miss you, though.”

He brushed a finger down the side of my face, smiling. “I’ll miss you, too, dear one, but you’ll be fine. There is other company for you, should you need it.”

He didn’t specify, but I was sure he meant the fox, and I was also sure what he meant by _company._ I blushed, both at his gentle touch and at the implication.

In a blink, he was gone.

I let out a deep sigh I hadn’t realised I was carrying. Suddenly, my entire worldview had been upended, yet again, and this had become a very _real_ possibility, rather than just something I’d been daydreaming about.

I got up and brushed dirt off my pants, which were getting fairly dirty at that point anyway from days of me wearing the same thing. (I hadn’t thought to bring a suitcase.) I wasn’t sure where to start, exactly, so I decided to visit the only other creature I’d really talked to, besides the fox: the squirrel who had given me directions and taught me the nuts of the forest.

I did have a hard time finding the same tree, but once I touched it, I remembered its feeling.

This time, I knocked.

I heard a skittering from inside the tree, and I knelt down where I hoped the door would be once it opened, but when it did, it was slightly to my right. The same squirrel I had talked to poked its head out.

_Oh, it’s you. What is it that you need now?_

I turned a bit so I could see the squirrel’s tiny hands better. “Oh, I just, um. I wanted to talk to you about something, if you don’t mind.”

_Sure. Go ahead. What is it…?_

“So… I’ve been talking to him… uh, I mean, you know, the Antlered One, you called him… about becoming… like you, I guess. An animal, I mean. Or, well, being able to change my shape. But I’m supposed to think about it for three days.”

The squirrel nodded. _And… was there a question in all of that?_

“I don’t want to be rude, but… are you a squirrel all the time? Or can you change into a, you know, a person? A human?”

 _Hmph._ The squirrel made a squeaking sound. _You’ll learn the difference, once you’ve been here long enough. I am a squirrel_ most _of the time, anymore. No reason to be otherwise. But yes, I was once a human like you._

“Oh! Well, I guess I just… had questions about that. I’m not sure who else to ask, besides the fox.”

_I suppose you’ll be wanting me to change for you, then? It’s not a party trick, you know._

“No, I know that. It’s a serious and important decision, that’s why I want to talk to as many people… animals… as I can about it before I go through with it, or don’t. I’m sorry if I’ve offended...” I realised then that I had no idea if I should address the squirrel as a Miss or a Mister, or something else entirely. “This is all just… very new to me, and I’m not really sure how to approach it at all.”

 _It’s fine. It might take me a little while, I haven’t changed back in… I don’t know how long._ The squirrel ducked back inside the tree, then returned with the corner of a piece of cloth.

_Can you pull this out for me? I’ll need something to cover in, otherwise I’ll be naked. Eventually you’ll stop caring about that sort of thing, of course._

“Sure,” I said, pulling the long, white sheet out of the little door.

 _You can watch, or not, I really don’t care,_ the squirrel gestured, ducking underneath the sheet. I looked away politely.

When I looked back, the sheet was wrapped around a person, a little shorter than I was, with a wild mess of short, straight auburn hair, and freckles across the nose.

“And that’s that,” said the squirrel in human form.

I cleared my throat. “Not wanting to assume, would I be correct if I called you a _she?_ ”

“Probably _best_ not to assume, but yes, I’m a woman, if that’s what you’re trying to ask.”

Her voice was a thin contralto, a little nasal, with a touch of the forest accent, not too different from how she’d sounded in my head when I was reading her gestures in squirrel form.

“Okay, so… um, have you been here a very long time?”

“Yes. Longer than your fox friend, if you can believe it. I remember when _he_ first came here, that’s for sure. Hard to forget an instant favourite like that one. Like I told you before, though, there are other foxes here. There’s a vixen who lives just a few trees down from me.”

“Did you… know that you were going to be a squirrel? Before he gave you the gift of changing your shape, I mean.” I wondered if he had ever told anyone what they would become beforehand, or if he was just playing around with me in particular. (You never know.)

“No, I had no idea. I’m fine with it, though. There’s worse things to change into. I’m not a worm or anything like that. Besides, I’ve had a long time to examine what being a squirrel is, and now I can’t imagine being anything else.”

“I have to admit, I do worry that I’ll change into something like that, like a worm or a bug or a frog or something. I don’t think I’d like that very much. I don’t want to be bumpy or slimy or something small that’s likely to get eaten.”

She laughed, a low, hearty chuckle. “I don’t think I would either. You’d probably get used to it, though, a life like that.”

“I guess… but I don’t know, I think I’d rather have fur. Even if it meant I was, you know, a prey animal, a rabbit or a deer or something. At least I would be soft. Even when I’d be a human, I’d still have some… soft parts.”

The squirrel raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, um… I don’t know if this is something that happens to everyone, or if it’s just the fox, but when he becomes a human, there are parts of him that stay fox parts, at least sometimes, like his tail, and his ears, and his, uh…” I cleared my throat and gestured downward with my eyes.

Tilting her head, she snorted, smiling. “I can’t say as I’ve had that issue down below, but…” From behind, I saw her fluffy squirrel tail swish behind her. “I have a feeling that there’s got to be _some_ bit that stays the same. Maybe it’s different for all of us, I’m not sure. Never thought to ask. In any case, if you feel like you _should_ have fur, you might be right.”

I heard a loud squeak and a chitter coming from behind me, and I turned to see a second squirrel poking its head out of the tree before running to the first squirrel in human form, climbing up her arm and sitting atop her shoulder.

“I didn’t realise there were _two_ of you in there,” I said. “Is it common to have… roommates, I guess? I mean, I’m staying with the fox but I don’t live with him exactly.”

She laughed. “I don’t know if it is or not. I don’t leave this part of the forest much.” She spoke to the other squirrel in tiny squeaks for a moment, a language I could not understand. “Sorry,” she said. “This,” she pointed to the other squirrel, “is my wife, and she was wondering what I was doing out here so long. I should probably go.”

“Is she a…” I started, before she cut me off, shaking her head.

“No, just a squirrel.” She smiled. “I told you, I’ve had a long time to think about being a squirrel. I guess you could say I’ve gone native.” She touched noses with the squirrel who was her wife, and moved toward the door, opening it a little wider with a touch so that she could crawl inside without changing back first. “I hope I’ve answered your questions well enough. Some things I simply don’t have answers to. You might try asking your fox friend. He’s closer to the… to the _source_ than most of us.”

I blushed. “I will. Thank you.”

She held up a hand to say goodbye before closing the door, tugging the sheet in with her.

After I left the squirrels’ home, I wandered the forest for a while, just observing, considering what it would be like if I were to become the creatures I saw, from jewel-toned beetles to birds of prey soaring above, from small animals like rabbits and squirrels to larger animals like the large many-pronged deer I sometimes saw. I imagined myself as each of them, but none of them seemed right. 

I decided to take the squirrel’s advice and ask the fox.

By that time, I had memorised the location of the fox’s tree home, and I found my way back there easily. I had not yet gotten the hang of how to open the door (and wondered if maybe the door would only open to the fox, since he lived there and I technically didn’t, and, of course, to the god, since all doors were open to him), so I knocked. At first, I thought he might not be home, but then I heard noise coming from inside, and then the door finally opened, a sleepy fox face sticking out.

“Can I come in?”

_My home is your home. You should know that by now._

He popped back inside, and I knelt down to crawl in after him, the door closing behind me. I moved to the nest of furs that was his bed, taking my human clothes off and climbing in, pulling the furs up to cover me. He nestled in close to me, still in the shape of a fox.

_Surprised to see you back here before bedtime. It’s still light outside._

“Yeah, I um… I had some stuff I wanted to talk to you about.”

He climbed atop me to sit on my chest, facing me, his ears pointed in my direction.

_Sure. What is it?_

“So, um, earlier I was eating a breakfast of nuts and berries, and I was thinking about what you said, that if I needed him I could call on him and he would come.”

_Mmhmm. Go on._

I nodded. “And I did, and he did come, and I almost felt bad because I wasn’t in danger or anything, but… I told him that I’ve been thinking about something, because I have, and…” I licked my lips. “And I told him that I, um… I want to be like you. To be able to change my shape like you, I mean. I asked him, too, if… well, if he chose your animal shape for you, or if you chose it, and he said neither. I don’t know what kind of animal I would be, and it seemed like he knew, but he wouldn’t tell me.”

The fox made a sound that I recognised as a laugh. _Oh, he definitely knows. He can see much more than any of us can. He can see into our hearts._

In the span of a heartbeat, the fox changed his form, and I felt the sudden weight of his human shape on top of me, his fox ears still pointed in my direction, a warm smile on his face.

“What else did he tell you?”

I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around him. “He said that I had to take three days to think about it, and that he would come back on the third day and ask me to make the decision. Also that even if I didn’t change my mind, I didn’t have to go through with it right away, and I could wait longer if I wanted, but he needed time to prepare the… the ritual.”

I saw the fox’s fluffy tail swish behind him.

“Ah. I see, yes. I don’t remember everything that went through my mind during that time, since it was so long ago, but I definitely remember the _ritual_ and the feel of his hands on me. I don’t think I could ever forget it.”

“So, it’s a, um… hands-on sort of experience?”

The fox chuckled. “Would you expect any less of him? There are parts of the ritual that aren’t, of course, but once he lays his hands on you, and you feel yourself start to change…” He glanced up and to the right, a wistful look on his face. “Well, it was certainly unlike anything I had ever felt, that’s for sure. The feel of his, of his _magic_ surging into your body through his hands… it’s… I can’t even describe it.” The fox blushed, then, a little. I reached up to touch his face, and he looked down at me, blinking a few times, the usual cocky grin returning to his face, the colour fading from his cheeks. “Anyway, I think some of us have at least _some_ idea of what sort of animal we’d become, even if we don’t know for sure. What do you think?”

I considered my answer before speaking. “I’m not sure, but… I don’t like the idea of being gross or wet or slimy. I don’t think that’s the sort of thing that would suit me, being a bug or a frog or a fish or a worm or something. I feel like I should be, you know, some sort of mammal. With fur. I feel like I should have fur. But I don’t know if that’s just because I’m so used to _you_ now, and to him, too.”

“Mmm, I can’t say I would complain if you were a fox like me. Ideal, really. Somehow, I don’t think that will be the case, though. You don’t strike me as very foxlike.”

I nodded slowly. “I don’t think so, either. But I also don’t feel like I’m a squirrel, or a rabbit, or a deer, and I haven’t met many other furry creatures. Not yet, anyway.”

“Ah, I do hope you aren’t a rabbit. I might find myself hunting you down by accident.” He grinned. “Or maybe _not_ by accident.”

“Maybe if I were a bird, you couldn’t catch me so easily,” I said, grinning back at him.

As quick as he could, he pulled my arms from around himself, pinning them above my head. “Oh, I don’t know about that. Have you ever seen me hunt?”

Suddenly, my heart was beating so hard and so fast I couldn’t respond with anything more than a shake of my head.

“Uh huh. I thought so. Maybe you are a bird, or a rabbit, or a mouse, and I shall just have to eat you right up.” He chomped his teeth at me for emphasis, then laughed. Embarrassed, I wiggled free of his grip, shoving him gently. He rolled onto his side, and I turned to face him.

“Would you really catch and eat me like that?” 

He chuckled. “Of course not. I much prefer to eat you the _other_ way, as you are now.”

I cleared my throat. “I didn’t think so, but I wanted to make sure. I still feel a little nervous, since I don’t know what will happen, but I don’t think he would let me turn into something so easily… um, so easily eaten, I guess.”

“Oh, surely not. Perhaps you’ll be a great big _bear_ , ten times my size, and I can curl up on your furry chest to sleep when you hibernate for the winter.”

I laughed at the idea of becoming such a huge creature. “Maybe, but until then…” I rested one hand on his chest, my fingers gently stroking the hair there, a shade or two darker than the hair on his head. “...you’re the one with the furry chest, I think.”

“Ah, you’ve got me there,” he said, placing his hand over mine, holding it fast, so that I could feel his beating heart. “And several other places, besides. Care to let me under these covers, now? Does get a bit cold out here without benefit of fur or clothes.”

I tugged at the covers until he moved long enough for me to pull them out from under him, and he scooted in nice and close, helping me pull them up over both of us, nice and warm.

It was easy to fall asleep in the fox’s arms, and that night I dreamed for the first time since I had returned to the forest.

In my dream I was both larger and smaller than my human form. I could feel the weight of my body, heavy and much lower to the ground than usual. It was dark, nighttime, but I could see easily enough in front of me, though I could not see myself. I could sense my feet (paws?) beneath me, and the sensation of the ground beneath them, but I could not tell more than that.

I could hear better than usual, too, and there were all sorts of sounds I could hear in the night that I had never heard before.

From the trees, I could see the owls watching me, the bright moon reflected in their eyes.

There was a sudden motion behind me, the sound of crunching sticks and leaves on the forest floor, and I turned quickly, alert, in the direction of the noise, to see…

Nothing. I woke up groggy, squirming in bed next to the fox, who I woke up far too early for his taste.

“What on Earth are you _doing--_ ”

I gasped for air, struggling to explain. “Sorry. Sorry, I was… I was having a dream, not a… bad one, not a nightmare, but…” I closed my eyes tight briefly. “It just felt… real. Like the dreams I used to have about, well, here.”

Wordlessly, he pulled me close, kissing my forehead. “Shh. It’s okay, lad. You’re fine. It’ll be fine. And maybe it _was_ real, you know, just not in the way you’re used to.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but I was grateful for his warmth. I rested there, close to him, for a while longer before I spoke again. 

“Do you think I should talk to other… I don’t know what to call people like you… shape-changers? About the ritual? I feel both sure that I’m making the right decision and utterly lost at the same time, somehow.”

The fox yawned. “Dunno. Seems like you’re not getting the answers you’re looking for from us. Maybe you should just go out and, y’know, observe out in the _wild_ for a little while. Watch the animals, see if any of them makes you _feel_ anything new.”

I nodded against his shoulder. “I guess that makes sense. I definitely feel a little different, already, after that… that dream I had.”

“Something’s already changing in you, isn’t it? I think I must have felt that, too, just that I’d forgotten until you said it. It may be that it’s part of the ritual all on its own. Preparing you, just the same as he’s preparing in _his_ way.”

Leaning back a little, I twined my fingers in the soft hair of his chest, nodding thoughtfully. “Maybe I’ll do that. Just… watch a while.”

“Go on, then, before I keep you in bed much longer. Come back to me, though, lad. I’ve grown fond of you.”

I blushed. I’d grown fond of him, too.

Tugging my clothes back on, I left his home and started walking, watching closely for any signs of life. It was easier to notice, since I was specifically watching for it, but even then, animals were sometimes skittish around me.

The first thing I saw was an anthill, and the tiny black ants paid me no mind, no matter how long I watched them. I let them be after a few minutes, even though it fascinated me watching them follow their tiny scent trails in search of food.

Lying down on my back near the anthill, careful not to disturb them, I looked up at the sky. I could hear several different birds singing, and I made a game of trying to pick them out by their songs. Some of them I couldn’t see, only hear, and others were brightly coloured and easy to spot, even through the leafy boughs. 

I let myself relax against the forest floor, enjoying the feeling of the cool, slightly damp earth beneath me. I was becoming part of the forest, and in that moment, I could feel it more sharply than ever. 

In a space between the trees, I saw a large bird of prey with an impressive wingspan soaring overhead. I watched it fly free, with such grace, and I felt something stir within me, a longing, a kinship. There was something there, something to it, some kind of connection between us, but… no. Not quite. Shaken by the idea, I rolled onto my stomach, away from the ants, and climbed to my feet.

I ran a hand through my tangled curls, trying to puzzle things together, but getting nowhere. I kept walking, wandering, until my feet stepped onto a large patch of soft moss, a brighter green than the god’s eyes. I leaned against a nearby tree - a young ash, no one’s home that I could tell - and wiggled my toes against the moss, getting a feel for it beneath my feet, so that I could… what… remember it? That was the thought I had, anyway, that this wasn’t just a meandering walk to observe my fellow animals, but also to learn the forest in the way I’d tried to do the day I watched the god and the fox coupling from behind a tree. It was coming easier, then, almost second nature, knowing where I was in the forest by sight and feel and other senses and sensations. 

I closed my eyes and listened. I had to turn my head toward the sound, since I could not move my ears in a different direction on their own as the fox could, but I was sure I could hear water nearby. I felt as though my hearing was better than it once had been, though I also thought it might just have been my imagination. Turning my whole body toward the sound, I walked ahead, slowly, some part of me intuiting that I should do my best to remain quiet. 

When I got closer, though, I understood, though I didn’t know how I could have known ahead of time.

There was a young deer drinking at the stream, drinking its fill. It lacked the spots that usually marked a fawn, and there was no mother nearby, so I figured it must be old enough to be out on its own, unaccompanied. From my angle of approach I couldn’t see the deer’s head well enough to tell if there were antlers attached, but when it lifted its head I saw a short prong on either side of its head, still covered in antler velvet - it was a young buck.

(Around that time, I thought to myself, _you know, I don’t remember knowing this much about deer._ )

Strangely, too, I felt a strange hunger deep within, though I could not tell if I was hungry for the deer as food, or if it was because deer reminded me so much of the Lord of the Forest and his antlers that I was hungry in _that_ way, instead.

I took a deep breath and decided to leave the way I’d come, veering off in a different direction. After a while, I realised where my feet were taking me, a more familiar path than I’d expected to walk, and I found myself back at the fox’s door as the sun was beginning to set, though it didn’t seem that I’d been away for that long. I knocked.

The fox peeked his head out. “Ah. ‘Bout time, lad. C’mon, then.” I got down on hands and knees and followed him as he entered his home, as I’d done on most nights since I returned. I suddenly found myself exhausted, even though by my own reckoning I had not done much besides wander around looking at animals, and I curled up in the fox’s bed with my clothes on, with him in his animal shape, and fell asleep, with no dreams I could remember.

When I awoke, I was alone again, with no fox nor human beside me, and I sleepily moved to the door, opening it to get a sense of what time it was. When I stuck my head out, I saw it was nearly midday, the sun almost directly overhead.

I also saw that the god was sitting calmly on a nearby log, seemingly waiting for me. 

He was again in the shape in which I had first seen him: great shining antlers peeking out from a cascade of deep brown curls, close-cropped beard, and furry legs, the same colour as his hair, ending in hooves.

“Good morning,” he said, with a smile. 

“How long have you been sitting there? Were you waiting for me?” I blinked a few times, still groggy from sleep.

“Long enough.” He beckoned me closer, and I crawled forward out of the fox’s home, approaching him on my hands and knees, just as I had that first time. When I reached him, he lightly touched my face, then squeezed my shoulder, resting his hand there afterward. “It’s nearly time.”

I squinted, blinking again, leaning into the comfort of his touch. “Has it really been that long?”

“It’s the third day. We don’t need to be exact down to the minute. I have a feeling that you’re ready enough. Or am I wrong…?”

I took a deep breath and nodded. “I… of course you’re not wrong. I think I was… I mean, yesterday when I was walking around observing different animals, I felt like something had already changed in me. The night before last, I had a dream.”

“What did you dream, dear one?”

“I was a creature of the forest. I was… bigger, heavier, but lower to the ground, and I walked on four legs. I couldn’t see myself, or anything about how I looked. I could see better, hear better, move faster. I felt ready to attack something behind me, but I woke up before I could see what it was.”

“And you felt like this dream had changed something in you, when you were watching the other residents of the forest?”

I nodded. “When I was walking around, I felt some of the same feelings that I felt in the dream, maybe not quite as strong, but I got the feeling that my senses were already sharper. Like I could hear things that I couldn’t hear before. And I…” I took a deep breath. “I saw a young buck at the stream and I felt something toward it that I couldn’t explain.”

“Tell me. Try your best.”

“I felt… hungry. But something was… I don’t know, almost… mixed up in me, because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to eat the deer, or… if I was, like…” I rubbed my face, a little embarrassed. “Aroused? Or something? Because, well…” I gestured at his antlers and hooves.

He laughed his musical, tinkling laugh, and kissed the top of my head. “It can be both. Things don’t always have to be black and white, you know.”

I moved a little closer to him, resting my head against his leg. “Is there anything I have to… do before the ritual? Are we waiting for something?”

“No, I was just waiting for you. If you are ready, we can begin, though we have to go elsewhere in the forest. It is a place somewhat more private than here.” He held both hands out to me, and I rose to my feet. He stood afterward, reminding me just how much taller than me he was.

“Come,” he told me, and I followed.

He led me to a small clearing I had never seen, but that reminded me of the place I had first encountered him. When we stepped into the clearing, he made a gesture that reminded me of someone closing curtains, but nothing looked different to me.

“What was… what did you just do?”

“Privacy from prying eyes. Anyone approaching from the outside will safely turn away, not knowing why.”

I glanced up at the sky, confused to see brilliant orange and pink and purple instead of the clear blue I’d seen what seemed like a few minutes earlier. “Wasn’t… wasn’t it midday when I woke up? I remember the sun being overhead, and then we spoke for a little while, and… how can the sun already be setting?”

He chuckled. “Have you not yet learned that time moves differently here…?”

I paused for a moment, thinking back on everything I had experienced. “I… guess I never really thought about it…”

Nodding softly, he held one hand out to me again, and I took it, letting him gently pull me where he wanted me to be, and I stood in the center of the clearing, in a small patch of soft moss.

“You should remove your clothing,” he said, quietly, not in a lascivious manner, just a statement of fact. I took a deep breath, pulling my shirt off over my head and unfastening my pants, ridding myself of my human clothing as quickly as I could. The god picked them up and folded them, tossing them to the ground behind him.

“Lie down on your back.” A shiver ran up my spine at his tone, slightly less warm than usual. I awkwardly plopped myself on the ground, lying down straight, facing the sky, my arms at my sides, legs together, toes naturally pointed upward.

He knelt beside me, close to my shoulder, tilting my head back at my chin with one long finger, and pressed his lips to mine. When he pulled away from me I felt light, like I was floating in a dream; it was different from anything I’d felt before, different from all the other times he’d kissed me.

There was a smell of sweet smoke coming from somewhere, and I could see the faint glow, as though from a fire, causing the god to be lit from behind, his face shadowed. I was curious, since I had not seen him light a fire, but I dared not sit up. He brushed a stray curl from my forehead and gently closed my eyes with his fingertips. 

After that, since I couldn’t see, my other senses felt heightened. I felt a light breeze blow over me, causing me to shiver, but I couldn’t tell if it was the natural wind or caused by him on purpose. After that, I felt the coolness of his hands upon me, gradually turning warm, then hot. His left hand was on my chest, and it felt almost like he was pushing it _into_ my chest instead, as though he were reaching in and touching me on the heart directly. His right hand was on my cock, changing me, molding me there as though he were crafting me a new body from clay, a sculptor. I knew that he was changing my shape but I couldn’t tell, just from the feel of it, what that shape would be.

When he removed his hands from me I felt strange, unsettled, as though the animal in me was straining to get out. I did not dare open my eyes until he told me I could.

He leaned close and whispered into my ear. “Hands and knees now, dear one. It will be easier.”

I nodded softly, rolling from my back to my side with some difficulty, then I rose up on my hands and knees. My joints felt wrong inside my skin, even though, as far as I could tell, my arms and legs had not changed yet. 

“Open your eyes. Turn toward me,” he said, and it was not a suggestion. I maneuvered my body to face him, unsure where I should look, so I kept my eyes on the mossy ground.

He placed both hands atop my head, and from the warmth of his magic, I could tell he was changing me there, too. When he pulled his hands away, I sensed what felt like ears where his hands had been.

“Now, I want you to turn the other way, just the opposite of how you are now.” 

I could not help but comply. He brushed his hands lightly over my ass before resting them both at the base of my spine, all his fingers concentrated in that one spot. His magic there felt hotter than before, and it was almost painful, but any cry of pain I could have made died in my throat instead. I adjusted my position, moving my hips slightly from side to side, after he pulled his hands away, and I found that I had a tail.

 _Am I a fox after all?_ I wondered. Tentatively, I wagged my tail, determining that controlling new body parts would definitely take some getting used to.

He ran a finger down the split in my ass, brushing feather-light over my entrance, and my immediate instinct was to raise my ass in the air, pushing my head and shoulders down on the ground, exposing my hind quarters to the god. My whole body felt aflame with love, with lust, for the Lord of the Forest, his warmth and his magic.

“And now, dear one,” he said, “ _you_ must change the rest of the way. The animal was always within you, I have merely unlocked it.”

I whimpered, hesitating, unsure what to do. 

He gently ran his hand over my newly sprouted tail. “Reach out in your mind. Feel the new parts of your body, the newness of your tail, your ears, how different your cock. Connect those pieces together, dear one, like you are making a constellation of the stars. You are nearly there. I know that you can feel it.”

I took a breath, though my face felt wrong, too short, and I pushed my hands against the ground, until I was on my hands and knees again. I shook my whole body, trying to let the beast out of my human skin, but it didn’t work. (Too easy, perhaps.) I took my time, then, trying to do what the god had told me. 

First, I moved my tail, back and forth, until I got the hang of where it was attached to me and how it could move, at least a little. My ears felt strange, almost like decoration, since I could still hear through my human ears, and I was not prepared to think about my cock just yet, but I touched upon all these things in my mind, imagining what my body must look like to hold them, what skin, what fur should now be covering me. I closed my eyes, taking deeper breaths, and wiggled my fingers, flat against the ground, willing them to instead become something different, and after several excruciatingly long seconds, I could feel that they were shorter, more compact, tighter. I rolled my shoulders backward, feeling my body change to my _own_ will rather than that of the god’s, the coolness of my body in the post-sunset air growing warmer with fur, over my back, down around my tail, my haunches leading down to my too-long human legs, shortening to match the front pair. 

I stuck my tongue out, and my face felt longer, more right. When I opened my eyes, it took awhile to get used to what I saw. The colours in my sight were less, more dull perhaps, but my night vision was sharp and clear, as it had been in my dream. 

Tentatively, I took a step, and I looked down to see dark, furry paws where my hands had once been, sharp nails glinting in the firelight. 

“Come,” said the god, and I turned, padding toward him to sit on the ground at his hooves, leaning my head against his leg as I had so often done in my human form.

I tried to speak to him, but found myself surprised when what instead came out of my mouth was more of a short _huff_ noise.

“You have learned to understand the creatures who speak the forest tongue when they are in their other shapes, but you have not yet learned to speak it. It will come in time. You will learn to change more quickly over time, as well. You have seen how fast the fox changes from one form to another. It comes with practice.” 

I nodded, slowly, getting used to the very different shape and size of my head.

“Would you like to see yourself?” he asked, resting a hand atop my head between my ears. I nodded again.

He made the same motion he had made when we arrived in the clearing, as though he were now opening the curtains rather than closing them. “Come, then. There is a small pond not far from here.”

I listened and obeyed.

When we arrived, he walked around the pond, first, and I stopped when he did. “The light is right, here,” he said quietly. “Have a look.”

Timidly, I padded up to the edge of the water. Though the moon was hidden behind the trees, my new night vision enabled me to see well enough.

The shape that I felt myself in was not too dissimilar from that of the fox, though larger, just as it had been in my dream, so when I looked at my own reflection, I was unsure how I hadn’t known it sooner.

 _Well, then, that settles that. I am certainly no fox,_ I thought, unable yet to speak it aloud. 

_I am a wolf._


	11. Chapter 11

Part of me was afraid to go back to the fox’s home, since I didn’t know how he would react to my newly acquired form. In our human shapes, he was easily a foot taller than me, but in my wolf form I was perhaps three times his size. _At least I’m not a prey animal,_ I thought. _I think we were_ both _worried about that._

I concentrated, staring at my face in the water, trying to change my shape back, and I panicked at first, because it didn’t seem to be working. I felt the god’s hand on the top of my head, then, running his long fingers through my thick fur.

“Ready to return to your original form so soon?” he said, and I whined softly, pressing my head up into his hand, enjoying the feel. “Like I said, with practice, you will be able to change back and forth as easily as the fox does. To return, you must visualise yourself, just as you did before, but in reverse: imagine your fur falling away to reveal your skin, your paws becoming hands and fingers and feet and toes, your knees going the usual way, your sharp teeth receding into something less built for ripping and tearing.”

As he spoke, I did as he described, and when I opened my eyes, I saw my human face staring back at me from the water, my hair a tangle of curls, my eyes wild.

Slowly, I rose to my feet, my legs unsteady, and I reached for the god, who held his arm out to me so that I didn’t fall. “I… that was…”

He nodded. “Do you need help returning to the fox’s home? I can escort you, if you like.”

“Please?” I clung tighter to his arm. “I don’t think I want to be alone in this state.”

As though dancing, he moved my body in such a way that his arm was around my shoulders, kissing the top of my head. I leaned close for a moment, then began walking with him. I could tell he had to slow his stride for me, since my legs were so much shorter than his, and I was touched by his patience.

When we reached the fox’s tree, I knelt down and knocked as I always did, and I heard him scurry to the door to open it, one paw touching me on the hand briefly afterward. I looked back to say goodbye to the god, but he was already gone. 

I took a deep breath and crawled inside.

The fox was upon me in an instant, turning circles around me, sniffing at me joyfully. He planted himself in front of me before I could crawl into the bed.

_You’ve changed. I can tell. You smell different._

I bit my lip and nodded, but said nothing at first.

_So? Are you going to tell me what happened, or what?_

I rubbed my cheek. “I, um… I don’t know where to start.” I sat down on the bed, rubbing my feet against the mat of rushes on the floor.

_You could start by taking off your clothes and getting comfortable._

His usual sly smile looked different in his fox form, but I would recognise it anywhere.

“You… you know, now, don’t you? That I’m… like you. I haven’t even yet learned to change, um, that part of me, like you said that you can if you want. You’re curious to know what I’ve become, though, and you know I won’t be able to hide it.” I smiled and looked away.

I felt his human hands on my shoulder, then, and his low, deep voice whispered in my ear, “Ah, you’ve caught me out.” He nipped the bottom of my earlobe and I swallowed hard with a shiver.

“I’m just… I don’t know, I’m nervous. I mean, I’m not a rabbit or anything, I’m not worried you’ll eat me, but…”

He put one arm around me, sniffing at my neck. “Ah, don’t worry, lad. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out, yeah?” He nuzzled my neck, giving it a tiny lick. “Let me help.” Deftly, he ran one hand up underneath my shirt, tugging on it so that he could reach under with his other hand, too, pulling it up to my armpits until I raised both arms and he pulled it the rest of the way off. 

I scooted back a little in the bed, propping myself up against my hands, watching him.

Leaning over me, he ran his fingers down my chest, through the soft hair covering my abdomen, and made eye contact with me as he tucked his fingers into my waistband, just enough to make me squirm. 

“Okay there, lad? May I?”

I nodded, still nervous.

He kept his gaze on me as he delved deeper past my waistband, and I gasped when his hand found what it sought, fingers curling loosely around my sheath.

“Ah, you’re softer than before, now. And I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to hide it, but hidden it is.”

I bit my lip again, whining softly. “I can hide _that_ , now, but I can’t hide… you know, what I am. And I won’t stay _soft_ if you keep doing _that_.”

“Ah,” he said, “but, have you considered that might be what I’m aiming for?” He squeezed a little, and I felt a noise begin to rise from low in my throat, a deeper, more feral noise than the ones I used to make. “If you won’t tell me what happened, maybe I’ll just have to bring it out of you.” He grinned that cocky grin of his, the one that made me blush every time. (Still does, if I’m honest.) I made a motion to unbuckle my belt, but he swatted my hand away lightly. “Mmm… allow _me._ ”

He gently pulled his hand out of my pants, unbuckling my belt with both hands, his pace somewhere between excited and leisurely. He unbuttoned me, too, and tugged at my pants until I lifted my hips long enough for him to pull them down, followed by my underwear, pulling them all the way off and tossing them, ignored, to the side.

He stared, the magical lights on his walls glinting in his eyes.

“Your fur is a bit darker than I expected. Definitely not fox-coloured.” He touched me there, next to my sheath, feeling the texture of my greyish-black fur. I nodded.

“No, I’m… definitely not a fox. I’m, um… in my other shape, I’m bigger than you.”

“Oh ho. Is that so?” He curled his fingers around my sheath again, resting the heel of his hand on my balls. “Bigger here, too, then?” 

“I, um… I don’t know, actually. I mean, I assume so, if my body is so much bigger, but as I am right now, it might… well, yours is different sized when you’re a fox rather than a human, right?”

“Mmhmm. It’s proportionate to the rest of my body, it’s bigger when I’m shaped like I am now.”

“I can’t be sure, since I didn’t exactly… see it yet… but I have a feeling that mine’s _smaller_ when I’m shaped like a human.”

The fox raised his eyebrows.

“Now I _have_ to know.”

“You have to know about my _cock_ , or you have to know what I’ve… become?”

He laughed. “Both?”

“I, um, I don’t know if I can just… change in front of you right now. I mean, I’ve only _just_ learned how, and…” I rubbed my face with both hands.

“Don’t make me guess,” he said with a chuckle. “I’d rather see it for myself, anyway, even if I have to tease it out of you.” He squeezed my sheath gently, enough to make me squirm.

I eyed him warily. “And… how would you do that?”

He grinned. “I have my ways.”

In an instant he was on his feet, between my legs, leaning forward against me, sniffing and nuzzling my neck. I squirmed a little against him, and I admit, I was unprepared for what happened next.

He _bit_ me, there on my neck, not hard enough to break the skin but enough to sting, and I yelped, startled, and I tried to pull away from him on instinct, but he had me cunningly pinned in place against the bed, and honestly, I wasn’t sure I really wanted to get away. He let go with his teeth, trailing kisses upward to nip at my earlobe.

“Not enough to force a change, I see,” he whispered. 

“I, uh…” I cleared my throat. “It startled me, but… it… didn’t, uh…”

“Hmm…?”

“It kind of felt… good, actually. If you’re trying to force me to change by, like, hurting me or something, I don’t think it’ll work. On the other hand..” I glanced downward, “if you’re trying to make me hard, you’ve succeeded.”

The fox raised both eyebrows. “Interesting. Good to know. For… future reference.”

I blushed and looked away. “Um… do it again, maybe? Just… to be sure. You know.” I brushed my hair away from my shoulder, tilting my head to the side, exposing my neck to him.

He leaned in again, and I felt his teeth on me, but he was gentler this time, less sudden, biting down slowly, presumably to see how I would react. I gasped when he bit harder than before, remaining there, and my toes curled with the sensation. 

And then, I felt his hand on my cock, stroking lightly, coaxing it even farther out of its sheath, and I couldn’t suppress a moan.

He nuzzled my ear, whispering, “Now I see why you pointed out that he was _rough_ with me when you watched the two of us.” He left little nips trailing down my jawline, stroking me still, and he bit down hard where my neck met my shoulder. My hips thrust upward, pushing my cock into his hand, and I could hardly think, let alone speak.

The fox pulled back to lap at my neck where he’d bitten me, and the sensation made me shiver. My senses were on fire, overwhelming me, and he sucked lightly where he’d bitten before tilting his head up to whisper into my ear again.

“Let go.”

And suddenly, that was all it took. I let go.

It was so sudden, I felt almost like I’d blacked out for a moment, but when I opened my eyes, the fox’s hand was tangled deep in my fur, and he had the _biggest_ grin on his face.

“So _that’s_ it, then,” he said, running his tongue over his teeth. “You weren’t wrong. A wolf is definitely bigger than a fox.” 

I wiggled against him, trying to get comfortable in my larger shape, whining a little. I waved my paws in the air, attempting to communicate, but the fox just laughed.

“It’s in your mind, not in the movements, if you’re trying to talk. Think what you’re trying to say, think it loudly, and let your paws explain it. Let ‘em be an extension of your thoughts.”

I huffed quietly, considering what to say. As loudly as I could, I thought _help,_ my right paw gesturing what felt right.

“Yes, see? Just like that. You’re getting it. What do you want help with?”

 _Tired now,_ I gestured. _Bed?_

“Sure you don’t want something more? You certainly did a few minutes ago.”

I nodded, still learning to control my differently-shaped head. _Yes. Bed. Tired._

He rubbed my underbelly, scritching me lightly with his fingertips. “Roll over, then, silly. You might not be able to stretch out, but you should still be able to fit if you curl up.”

With a little difficulty, I rolled over onto my stomach, resting on my four legs, and moved myself clumsily up to the pillow, curling around myself a bit. He crawled into the bed beside me, resting an arm over my large frame.

I scratched lightly at the bed. _It’s okay?_ _To stop._ _Rest._ I stuck my tongue just enough out of my mouth that the tip of it showed.

“Of course it’s okay,” the fox said, stroking the top of my head. “We have hours and days and weeks and years to do anything and everything else you might want. Sorry for startling you into the change.” He grinned his impish fox grin. “I can be impatient at times.”

I put my paw on his arm, pulling it closer as best I could. 

“Let me get the blanket, first,” he said, reaching down to pull it up. It didn’t quite fit over my lumbering frame, but I was warm enough anyway, and he cuddled close to me, squeezing my foreleg gently. “Rest, if you’re tired. I’ll be here with you. It won’t tire you out as much once you’ve gone back and forth a few times, like stretching your muscles, more or less. It just takes practice.”

I nodded, licking the side of his face, and he laughed. 

We fell asleep together, after a while, in the same bed we’d been sharing, and when I woke in the middle of the night, briefly, I saw his fox shape snuggled close between my paws. Smiling, happy, I went back to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

It took weeks of switching my shape back and forth before I could get anywhere remotely close to being as fast at it as the fox, though, to be fair, he had  _ years _ of practice. He seemed to enjoy riding around on my back in his fox form, largely because my longer, more powerful legs meant he couldn’t keep up with me if we were running together.

One day, I was wandering in the forest, and even though I couldn’t see the fox, the weight of him on my back ensured me he was still there. I was still growing used to the changes in my senses - the difference in colours, my heightened senses of smell and hearing - and listening for sounds only to hunt their sources down for sport was an activity that both of us enjoyed. 

I heard the sound of leaves being crunched underfoot, instantly turning my ears in that direction. Stalking the noise, my soft paws walking as quietly as I could manage, I moved in the direction of the sound, only to find nothing.

And then, I heard the same sound, coming from a different direction. I moved slower this time, more deliberately, so as not to chase the creature away. And yet, when I got as close as I could to the location of the noise, there was again nothing there. I growled softly in frustration. I had never yet sought out a creature that I not only couldn’t catch, but of which there seemed to be no trace.

The fox hopped down off my back, signaling to me. We listened together, and when we heard the noise again, our ears turned in unison. I walked in one direction, he in another, circling around to try and ambush whatever was making the sound from both sides. Swiftly, we moved through the trees in search of the noise, but when we dashed where it seemed to be coming from, all we saw was each other.

And then, we heard a light, tinkling laugh from beyond the trees.

It should have been obvious after our second attempt at stalking our invisible prey that the god had been behind it, that he was just having fun at our expense. I guess in a way he was playing the same game that we were, only he was catching us instead.

When he came from behind a tree that seemed too narrow to hide him, the both of us trotted toward him to sit at his feet. 

_ Why were you teasing us? _ I gestured to him. 

He laughed again, kneeling to pull both of us into his arms. “I wanted to see how you’d react, and I wanted to see how long you’d take to figure out it was me, but then you did not, and I felt bad, a little. Only a little, though. You seem to take such joy in the hunt.” Smiling gently, he ruffled our fur, one hand on each of us. “How have you fared otherwise, my little hunters?”

I leaned into his hand, feeling his warmth. 

_ He is learning quickly, _ the fox gestured, standing proud on his hind legs.  _ He will easily be able to feed himself when necessary. _

I opened my mouth wide and panted a little, an animal imitation of a smile. He bent down and kissed the top of my head. “Good. I always worry when I’m gone. The forest has plenty to provide for everyone, if you know where to look and how to find it.”

The fox jumped onto my back, and the god bent down to kiss him on the head, too.

“Perhaps the both of you would like a different kind of hunt.”

I scratched at the ground with one paw.  _ What do you mean? _

Before my eyes, the god transformed from his usual shape to his full animal form, which I had never seen. He was a deer, of course, larger than any deer I could have imagined, easily twice my height even in my human form. His fur looked the same as his lower half normally did, shaggier than deer had any right to be, and his antlers were longer and wider than the ones he wore when his head was human-shaped. His head was great and noble, and his hooves were sharp and shining, ready to run.

He didn’t even have to gesture for me to hear him, and I assumed that it was the same for the fox.

_ Catch me if you can. _

He dashed off into the woods, and the fox and I gave chase. Despite trying our best, there was no way for us to catch him, and his long, graceful legs made running look effortless, his hooves beating rhythmically against the earth, like some sort of primal, ancient song. He stopped periodically to let us catch up, but only long enough to let us get close, then he dashed off again when we were within a few steps.

Eventually, we grew tired, and he slowed down enough that we could run alongside him, with me on one side, and the fox on the other, though it was clear that he could have easily outrun us again. Still moving, he turned to look at me, and I saw a twinkle in his eye. I suddenly had the uncontrollable urge to pounce, to jump, to rush at him while he was still slow enough to catch. I kept running, though I slowly moved my centre of gravity lower, preparing to leap. 

And then I did. With a short growl, I jumped at the god, aiming to grasp him around his neck, but instead… he turned toward me, and in a flash, resumed his usual form, laughing as he caught me in his arms, both of us tumbling to the ground together.

“Rabbits don’t stand a chance,” he said with a smile. 

The fox sat near the god’s shoulder, his tail curled around his hind feet.  _ Told you. I taught him well. _

The god pulled the fox into our embrace, fluffing his fur. “That you did, my sweet fox. That you did.”


	13. Epilogue

My life now is a series of moments like this, filled with laughter and love and passion, and even now I'm still learning what it means to be a wolf, and what it means to be human. This is where I belong. Maybe it always was, and I just didn't know it until I saw him for the first time, my heart pounding in my chest when I saw the moonlight glinting off his antlers, his song echoing through the trees. And upon my return, just like the first time, I saw the fox before I saw the god, and he is full of mischief and guidance and yes, lust and affection, too. 

We are enough, it seems, for each other, but I can't discount that someday, someone new might come along, and find that the forest is where they belong, too, and when that happens, _if_ that happens, I want to be the first one to tell them:  _ welcome home. _


End file.
